Who you are vs. who you want to be

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I am pretty sure everyone wanted to be some different version of themselves or another person at some point in their lives. It is just the nature of humanity and at that time there is a better alternative to ourselves somehow. So what we do is to find a way to be like him/her, or be like the guy/gal that we have in our dreams as a profile. For me, most of the time the latter is valid.

When you think you are not enough as a person, there is always a sense of insecurity that begins inside of your brain. If you feed it, you become more and more obsolete from your surroundings. First, the relationships shatter, then friend meetings start to get less and less.

Why though? Why are we designed to care about others’ thoughts on ourselves? Why are we all egomaniacs on many different levels? Personally, I can be at the upper levels of being an egoistic person. So what if I am making a jackass of myself by acting in a certain way? Who cares if I am embarrassing? If anybody looks at me and laughs? Why do we care in the end?

I do not have the answer to that last one. Maybe we are hardwired, maybe it should be like that or maybe it is coming from how we are raised as a child. Social norms are always the boundaries that we kids should play inside. When someone asks questions and starts to act nasty, society is there to punish by attacking within and boosting our insecurity to nirvana.

Let’s end this part with a quote from my favorite band, Queen.

Nothing really matters, anyone can see. Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me. Any way the wind blows…

Next time when you feel the boundaries, be a nasty kid and crush them.

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