When did it happen

I’m trying to work out when I allowed myself to get emotionally involved with a man online.  I’m the sceptical one who scoffed at the thought.  Too many times I’ve been in a situation where I could be in this type of relationship – which as he reminded me often isn’t real until you meet.

So I tried to meet him, he wanted it, I wanted it. .  only he didn’t want it enough.
Two thousand dollars now sits in credit with an airline company because he changed his mind two weeks before I was due to fly to meet him.

Again I go back and wonder when I allowed myself to think this was okay to do.

Who travels 15,000 km’s around the world to meet a complete real life stranger?  Me obviously, well I tried to but he stopped me with the simple words of I don’t think you should come anymore.

I’m sitting at work and unable to concentrate, his words on the screen I’ve read over and over.
We’d talked every day twice a day for 3 years, yet he sends a message when he wants to end it.

So many broken promises have now expired.  So many statements now slap me in the face.

There were things I did not like about him – he thought a guy sleeping with his high school bullies mum for revenge was funny – that’s not funny.

He thought making up a fake dating account to harass his ex partner was ok. . he sent me screen shots of him trying to see if she’d “give out” since their relationship ended when she wouldn’t sleep with him anymore.  He just wanted to see if it was her or if it was him…. not ok.

He told me facts AFTER they’d happened, because he thought I’d be hurt by his behaviour.  This was not his usual mode – and I hated it.  He knew he’d lie about things – but then admitting the truth was ok – it wasn’t.

He flirted outrageously with me, complimented me, convinced me there were things I should do for him – even though he was still living with his long term partner – who incidentally he told me they were living as room mates, not partners.  Clearly when she moved out and he was grief stricken for a few weeks it was apparent that he’d been lying the whole time about their relationship.  He told me he Loved me. Then told me it wasn’t real unless we met.

Now he’s discarded me, after talking for 3 years, twice daily he’s sent me a text and told me not to come, and I haven’t heard from him since.  I don’t want to hear from him ever again – but I don’t know how you can just cut off a friend.  I have nothing to say to him

I’d always maintained that friendship was the most important thing – he said he agreed.  He’s a liar.

I’m going on a date tonight, with a man I can see in real life.  I’m not really sure how I feel about it, but I need to do it.  I hope I have fun.  My last online relationship was no longer fun and I’m hurt.  Maybe this man has been sent to me to help me heal.  Dinner he says meet you there at 7pm.  Wish me luck

4 thoughts on “When did it happen”

  1. Good luck!! Online relationships CAN be good, and others not at all! I know of 3 women that met their partners online and eventually married them and they are all still happily married after 6 or so years.

    Did you and your online relationship ever snap chat or Skype? For him to break it off so abruptly….something is sketchy there.

  2. I guess he just changed his mind and decided to date there.
    We did facetime and video chat, we talked twice a day for 3 years – I thought I knew him.
    I just expected more of an explanation than don’t come I’m now dating someone

  3. I hope your date is wonderful! Online friendships can be amazing. Not sure about anything more than friendship as I haven’t been in that situation. What he did to you was cruel. Good riddance to him.
    (((hugs))) I am sorry you had such a heartbreaking experience with him.

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