So the picture up above is the biblical view of submission in marriage. In God’s eyes, this is how a true Christian household is to be run. Here’s the issue: we have a much different view of marriage these days, even submission these days. Thank Satan for that one.
Now people have always mentioned Ephesians chapter 5, even the scriptures found in 1 Peter, but what does it ACTUALLY mean in practice? Its not some satanic bdsm workshop nor is it where the husband has the right to be tyrannical with the wife–far from it (and part 2 will talk to the men about that). No…a wife submitting to her husband is as what she should be doing always to the LORD.
You obey God without question right? Do you blindly obey without a whimper? Do you not sit in silence and let God do all the talking? Of course not. God doesn’t expect us to do that as women and our husbands certainly can’t–and shouldn’t–expect that.
Now there are a TON of articles and YouTube videos out there explaining everything about the topic of submission in marriage. Too much. Too many opinions can make a person’s head spin! So how do you do it? And what if I’m not even dating anyone right now? It actually starts with God.
There’s an interesting verse in the book of Hosea that for us as ladies we need to study and understand. In Hosea chapter 2 verses 19 and 20, God talks about us being “betrothed” or in other translations “married” to Him. Whoa. We’re…we’re married to the King of kings? The Creator of the Universe?! One in the same. So as our “heavenly” husband, He expects us to be submissive unto Him.
For majority of us, eventually we will find a man to spend the rest of our lives with and once we do, submission would be something we’d already know because we’ve been married to God while we waited.
Some things God will expect from us as ladies is to love Him but also show utmost respect and reverence. Sounds obvious right? But at times when it comes to our husbands on earth (at least those of us who are married), suddenly it gets dicey. Conditions need to be met. And when they aren’t met, we come up with excuses.
“Well, he’s such a mama’s boy, he can’t stand up to her!”
“He won’t be dominant. He doesn’t have an aggressive bone in his body.”
“How can I? He’s nothing but a kid himself! I have to play both mother and father around here.”
“If only he did (full in the blank), I would consider it.”
Anybody use those? I have! So why am I telling you this?
I’m telling you the nice version of the same lesson I had to learn from God. Oh yes… I was THAT woman. The fiercely independent, I’d rather die then submit to ANY man…I’m the cautionary tale, the 5 time divorcee Samaritan woman saved solely by the grace of God warning you, “Don’t do what I did. Don’t expect perfection. Don’t expect to be treated like a queen if you treat him like nothing but the court jester.”
What men crave more than anything (outside of sex and that’s a scientific fact) is RESPECT. They want to know you respect their strength, their opinions, their intellect, their understanding… “But you don’t understand the (fill in the blank) I’ve got to deal with!” God didn’t ask you to be submissive if the conditions are right. But what He did give you was His love in the form of your husband.
Ladies, my fellow sisters in Christ, we need to recognize the beautiful and loyal and fierce women we are; God created us that way. Sometimes, we don’t always color in the lines or stay in the box, but at the end of the day, a strong woman–a woman who has been born again in Christ, loved by Christ, molded in the image of Christ, saved by Christ, bathed in grace by Christ can and will do all things thru Christ because He is her strength (Phil 4:16). God can use us to be His crowned jewels in marriage, but we have to be strong enough to say, “I submit.”
Weak women marry because they are desperately craving the affection they’ve never had, hoping to be now treated like a queen. Strong women marry because they know they are Queens and the only kind of man for them is a king.
Stop desperately seeking a worldly fix for a spiritual problem–it won’t work! Go to God for your strength, your Grace and mercy; go to God to find your identity in Him. Go to God and realize true submission starts with Him.