I doubt if I am going to live through the next year. What keeps me going is that I have 2 conures I totally adore. I must live for them. Keep going. In a way I am quietly self-destructive. The trauma of these times. Sometimes I drink to kill the pain in my mind and my body. When I do, I will often go back DECADES and listen to the music of my youth. I think we all do.
I am amused at how many times I have listened to Steppenwolf’s HIPPO STOMP. A stupid song but it feels good to me for some never understood reason. Add some WHO songs and a few STONES songs. I get a bit high and hear those songs like they are new. Oh wow what a cool song that is! My mind wants my body to jump up and dance around the house but my body flips me off. Fuck you, fuck that!
I am often amused at myself at how a song I loved when I was 17 still has some joy in it for me. I can remember listening to the Mozart symphonies and hearing Mahler’s 1st long ago but Rock is the music of youth. When we hear it we go back in time or bring time back to us. A bit of a past self we party with. Thinking this, I would love to have a conversation with a past self. Hi Scott age 27, I am Scott 65. Let’s compare notes. Sorry to depress you with MINE. 😉