Thinking of the past

Days like today are very nostalgic for me. The warmth when I walk outside, the sunset, and also the month of February. The month of love and appreciation. It’s been 2 years since my aunt passed away, yet it seems like just yesterday I was in her yard having a cook out. Times are hard without her. I can see my mom being consumed by that pain and that emptiness that she feels without her sister. Times are hard for us, but I appreciate every single day of my life, or at least I try to. I have my mom and I have my dad. I have friends and family. I have a job and I have a car. I can name a thousand things to be thankful for if I wanted to. Everyday I fight my thoughts and I do it for my parents. I fight and I battle my own demons just to make it through the day and that’s OK. I know I have a lot to be happy for, and I have a lot to be thankful for. My parents give me life, they give me happiness. All I truly desire is to do something with my life and make them proud before they’re gone. I try so hard not to argue or fight with them and I try really hard to appreciate every second that I have with them. Life can be a very dark place, but it can also be a beautiful place. Life is dark right now, but it was once beautiful when my aunt was here and we could all hear her laugh and see her smile. Those are the days that I wish I didn’t take for granted. The days where we were all together having family gatherings and birthday parties. It was truly the best, and if only I could go back and see her one more time, it would be nice. I know it would make my mom so happy. My main goal is to start being positive and also to start appreciating life a lot more. I thank God for all that I have, every single day. I thank him for everyday I get to live. I would like to encourage everyone out there to do the same. To live the best life you can, to appreciate your loved ones before they’re gone. Never fight with your loved ones and walk away.. you never know when they’ll be gone and it’ll be far too late to fix things. I wish we could’ve fixed things with my aunt before she passed. I wish she didn’t die mad at us. So everyday of my life I will try my best to get along with everyone. I will try to be humble, kind, and I will always try to be a better person despite my problems.

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