the Cycle of MY life

Another relationship with a guy has come to a disappointing abrupt end.  I’m not the kind of person to argue, negotiate and try to convince a person that what they are saying/doing is wrong.  It’s their decision, I just accept it as that!  I can’t prove my worth – you can’t see it anyway.

Tell me it’s over and I walk away.   Lie to me I walk away.  Cheat on me I walk away.  Treat me badly I walk away.

Once upon a time I would’ve fought for what I wanted, for a person I adored. But life has taught me if they don’t want to be with you, then they DONT want to be with you.
Sitting in silence my heart aches, my mind a tornado of thoughts that can’t be understood.  Every now and again a thought pushes it’s way to the top, but I have to keep reminding myself this will pass, I will survive this heartache.  He is not worth this sorrow I am feeling, he is not worth the grief that encompasses my whole being making my body cold and numb.  Yet I grieve what I thought I had, I berate myself and ridicule my choices. Another moment of pure pain in my heart ruining my positivity and faith in life.

I’m tired, and I’ve had enough of this life.

 

8 thoughts on “the Cycle of MY life”

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this heartache. I can relate because I ha through 2 cheating fiances and I thought I’d die.

    Take one day at a time. Everyone deserves a good, loving partner. If he can’t see that he had a good, loving person in you, then he didn’t deserve you in the first place.

    My cheating exes…I walked away without a backward glance. No amount of begging, crying, fits of rage, and apologies brought me back. Once trust is broken, that’s it.

    You…hang in there. Hearts are made to be mended. Yours will too! ~ dani ~

  2. Thank you Dani 🙁 it’s not a nice thing to go through, never is. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, 2 cheating fiancés ;(

    It is about forgetting them and moving on isn’t it? That’s what I’m trying to do… it’s only day 2 though so it’s hard atm.

    1. Yes, its hard….its very hard. Its like someone has died and you are in the grieving process. But this too, shall pass. Give yourself time. And from reading that it was an online relationship…..delete him. Get rid of everything you had from him. Block him from emailing you. From texting you. If you truly want to forget and move on…its the only way.
      JMHO of course.

      1. Oh I have done all that, I didn’t think an online relationship could do such damage. But your heart knows no difference.

        He won’t contact me ever again.

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