seed of thoughts

If you liked my former account yayuki you can find texts of me in my ebook seed of thoughts. I will try my best to post interesting stuff here, too. The inside cover of my ebook looks like this.

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A poem on a messy phase of life

Life’s a mess

It’s about the times when you don’t feel it in your bones,
life takes you places you don’t even want to go.
Then, it’s make you do some weird shit
and it’s on your face that your sick of it

You wanna run away,
but there’s no way out.
You’ve been here for long,
now this all you’ve got.

“No!” Says your free mind….
“you can be one of a kind
who fights all
and goes where it wants”

“It not easy to restart,
the time has past”
you reply, while your soul is
dying inside…..

“But you are not meant to be here,
you belong to places you’ve dreamed of, my dear”
That’s when I realized,
eyes were shiny, open and wide.

Life’s a mess,
so let it be.
We have the strength,
we just need to believe.

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Are Sweet Dreams Really Sweet?

Have you ever had a wonderful dream that you woke up sad?

Well I did, not just once but so many times. I guess y’all have experienced the same too, at least once till now. You know the feeling. It’s exactly like the dialogue from K-drama “My love from the star” which stated that “I realized that a happy dream makes me feel even more miserable when I wake up”. That dialogue stuck in my mind ever since I heard it. It made me think about all those times when I had a nightmare and woke up feeling relieved whereas when I had a sweet dream, where I was living my fantasy, I woke feeling sad about. I felt like going back to the dream and never returning because it was so perfect, because it was everything I wanted, because it was all I’ve ever hoped for and sometimes ever more. This is really strange, but why? Why our brain makes us feel so happy and in a second (as soon as we wake up) it takes it all away. Why can’t our brain give us answers to how do we make our fantasy a reality instead of creating a perfect but fake dream? I know I’m asking too much but I don’t want to be sad when I wake or be afraid while I’m asleep.

However…

the feeling a good dream is indescribable. Although it is for few hours or even few minutes you feel so pleasant. I’ve also heard that the dream which we dream of in the morning ends up turning into reality. So according to that let’s hope that you dream of something really nice cause no matter what, we do not control our unconscious mind. It’ll definitely show us wonders irrespective of whether we are cozy in our bed or uncomfortable on the hard floor, we will still be dreaming. A dream which we might not remember when we wake up. That’s a total different feeling of uneasiness. Anyhow some of them we still remember and I hope instead of feeling sad or happy about it you get some or the other moral out of it.

On that note I hope you sleep well tonight. Take care and keep dreaming! Dream BIG!

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True friends are rare and hard to find

True friends are rare and hard to find
If you find one then be ever so kind

Do not lose them, hold them near
That kind of love is ever so dear

No judgements nor criticims, not even close
Nothing bad, not ever nearly so gross

Just plain acceptance of who you are
They love you from near and ever so far

Forever lasts a real and true friendship
Happiness into your soul it will tip

So if in your life you’re given one such friend
Hold them near, never let it come to an end

To have a true friend is to be blessed for real
The best of the world they’ll always make you feel

Don’t fault them even when they disagree
For that’s what it means to truly be free

Treasure them always more then you would gold
They’ll make your heart warm when you feel cold

A real friend may come only once in your life
But they’re worth it always no matter the strife

If you find a true friend then lucky you are
One of the luckiest on earth, truly by far

Then He sat back and laughed

He was all powerful, all seeing
All knowing, the great and powerful Oz

He created a land of milk and honey
And gave light unto that land

And He filled it with the birds of the air,
The fish of the seas and all manner of beasts

He filled the fields with flowers and grasses,
and caused vast forests to grow

He made great and beautiful mountains to spring up
And vast chasms of awe and majesty to form

There were deserts and grasslands,
Rivers and seas, vast reaches covered in ice

And everywhere life teemed.
He saw it but was not pleased.

Something was missing,
This would not serve His purposes

So he filled all the lands with people
Made in His own image

He gave them dominion over all
And the power to love and care for all that He’d created

And it was good.
But still He was not pleased.

All was good, too good for His purposes.
So He created the night, the black

And He gave to mankind hatred and warfare
And all manner of black and vile things

He released despair and loneliness
He set forth as much evil as He’d released good

Evil to torture those souls that He’d created
Then He sat back and laughed.

Now He was satisfied.

there to peruse the lands of Oz once again

Drifting lazily under a bright summer’s sky

Tiny wavelets lapping the side of the boat

Lines cast out from the rods dangling over the stern

Oars tucked snugly inside the boat, safe from the water

On the horizon trees cast shadows upon the water below

Quiet and stillness, solitude and serenity, peace

Calm suffuses my body, reaching down to my very bones

Muscles relaxed I drift in a daze,

nodding off at times to amazing dreams,

dreams of the world of Oz where all is right with the world

Stressors forgotten all that remains is peace

Peace and the softy muted sounds of the water,

the quiet chirps of birds as they pass over head

The splash of a duck as it lands upon the stillness of the water

Disturbing it for a brief time only, the disturbance rapidly passes

And once again all is stillness and calm, serene solitude

A bobber dips, the line it’s attached to quivers

But it’s ignored in order to maintain the peaceful perfection of it all

Such total relaxation as can only be found here, in solitude

Away from the worries of the world, away from pressing needs,

Needless deadlines, stressed out bosses, excited kids,

Needful spouses.

Tip my hat down low over my eyes and drift some more

Drift into dreamland there to peruse the lands of Oz once again

Adrift on a Timeless Sea

The waves lap gently at the sides
The tiny splash of their passing
Almost unnoticed among the eons
The sails flap ever so lazily
Stirred but slightly by the mild breeze
The wake barely trails us as we drift
so calmy upon this ageless sea

Time passes us but we do not pass it
It stretches out forever both fore and aft.
Having come from nowhere
Taking forever getting from there to here
We have no place to go
And we’re in no rush to get there
We have forever to arrive there
We are adrift on an timeless sea

The days pass endlessly
Never the same but ever changing
Always the quiet lap of the waves
The same gently stirring breeze
The hypnotic ripple of our tiny wake
Horizons never changing
Yet never standing still
The sea carries us but we go nowhere
Someday we may arrive there

We pass onward, ever onward
Going nowhere with no undue haste
Slowly, inexorably we pass into the sunset
To glide our way out of the sunrise on the morrow,
the ever unchanging tomorrow

We await the storm, the one we’re sure will come
The inestimable fury, the waves lashing at us,
The winds making the sails crack as they whip
Our wake will be lengthened, we’ll gather speed
With all haste we will head for home
Across the ageless expanse of the timeless sea

Normalcy

Normalcy is a treasure
That’s often taken for granted
It’s feelings are so plain it’s true
And it’s thoughts are never slanted

Being normal means you can be happy
but then you can be sad
It’s livng life as others do
Even when you’re feeling bad

It’s the degree that matters
The extremity that counts
It’s never feeling so bad
That from this life you want to bounce

It’s taken for granted
By those who daily have it
But it’s worth more then gold
To those who search for it

While most of the world
Lives with it daily
There are those of us
Who only have it barely

To those among us Who rarely find it
It is a gift from God To keep us sane
It is the something that we seek
Of what we seek it is the main

I hope to find it each and every day
And sometimes I do, when God smiles on me
I’ ve found it today inside of me
And I’m ever grateful that He has let it be

Hope

Hope is a wondrous magical thing
Take it away and with it goes everything
All light, all happiness, all peace
It all goes away

But preserve it and you preserve everything
You can withstand anything,
Stand up to the worst that life thows at you
Hold on when everything goes against you

You can withstand the pain of loss
And the hell of love lost
The worst the enemy can throw
Is but a pittance to the power of hope

It’s an amazing creature
It survives when all else is lost
It needs but a single spark
to preserve your life and sanity

It needs so little to survive
A mere possiblility is all it requires
It doesn’t need to be fed
It survives on it’s own

You can tell it to end
but until every possbility
is exhausted
It will never die

It never gives up,
It never surrenders
It asks no favors
It needs little feed

But it thrives on
a single chance
Just one is all it needs
One chance the key

They say hope springs eternal
I’m here to call them right
Hope never truly dies
Nor gives up the fight

The Land Of The Lost

The land is dark as midnight on a moonless night
in the middle of the sea
The landscape empty and barren as the great salt flats
Nothing grows there, nothing lives there
It is a lifeless land, full only of pain
Light never reaches it, life never touches it
It is empty and shall always remain so
It is the land of the lost

To enter this terrain is to give up your life
To a life of loneliness and pain
Abandon all hope all you who enter for there is no escape
The land will suck you dry,
It drains the very life from you
It doesn’t respect what you’ve done in life
Nor who you love or who loves you
It matters not what you’ve accomplished
It will eat you

A lone figure strides this land,
full of the pain delivered by the land
More dead then alive the figure roams
The land looking for escape
But escape is not to be found
Soul as empty as the land,
The figure knows no hope of surcease
Lost in this land it would welcome even death
Anything to escape the pain

The figure roams the land
And is as empty and lost as the land itself
There is no light for this figure
Not from without, nor from within
It’s soul is black as the night of the land
Nowhere to turn, it matters not where it roams
No release, no comfort, no help, no hope
It is as lost as the land itself
It yearns for the release of death,
Anything to escape the land within which it’s trapped

It longs for the joy of a welcoming voice,
The comfort of a firm handshake
The peace and contentment of a loving heart
Someone to love and to be loved by
A friend on whose shoulder to cry,
To release some of the terrible pain
To break the loneliness,
To fill the emptiness
A light to push back the darkness

Who is this pitiful figure?
Who is it that is trapped in this dreadful land?
Who is it that is lost in this vast emptiness?
Who is it that has to struggle so to maintain hope
In such a hopeless and joyless land?
Who is this sorrowful figure,
So bereft of comfort and joy,
So lost in the darkness of this land?
Who is this lost figure?

It is I.