For I know the evil that lives inside

The days go up, the days go round
The days go all round and a round

Today I am down, tomorrow I’ll be up
On joy and energy will I sup

But not today during which I am drained
It helps none that this morning it rained

Spirit is low and so is my energy
They are bound up in their synergy

Madness is their companion, pure insanity
Combined they remove all of my humanity

Darkness today, tomorrow there will be light
If not tomorrow then one day that’s in sight

The voice of the beast echoes in my head
It swears that I’m better off dead

It promises my loved ones will be better off
At all of this it is difficult to scoff

For I know the evil that lives inside
No matter how deeply I cause it to hide

The black rot that thrives at my core
The evil my conscious does deplore

Yet it there if you but look deeply enough
All of the good in me it does rebuff

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All I just want is you to look me deep in the eyes

All I just want is you to look me deep in the eyes
And see the heavy waves crashing inside
But all you’re doing is plain seeing and capsize
Overturning the great waves aside;

I just miss you.
I miss you so much,
I miss the “diver” you,
I miss you not floating but diving beneath the surface,
I miss you not seeing but diving beneath the waves,

Please can’t you just dive in once again, my love?

Because I grandly miss you.
I miss you knowing
the real me
inside.

– GaGo ?

A poem on a messy phase of life

Life’s a mess

It’s about the times when you don’t feel it in your bones,
life takes you places you don’t even want to go.
Then, it’s make you do some weird shit
and it’s on your face that your sick of it

You wanna run away,
but there’s no way out.
You’ve been here for long,
now this all you’ve got.

“No!” Says your free mind….
“you can be one of a kind
who fights all
and goes where it wants”

“It not easy to restart,
the time has past”
you reply, while your soul is
dying inside…..

“But you are not meant to be here,
you belong to places you’ve dreamed of, my dear”
That’s when I realized,
eyes were shiny, open and wide.

Life’s a mess,
so let it be.
We have the strength,
we just need to believe.

Related Images:

Untitled Poem of Pain

Dreary existence lost in a world of unsure circumstance.
Reveling in defeat once again.
This is so long a story. Where do I even begin?
That dream I was chasing, I’m not sure if it’s gone.
This path that I’m walking, I’m not even aware that I’m on.
I’ve changed more in the last year than ever.
Those emotional bonds holding me captive before, I’ve had to painfully sever.
You’d think by now, I would know better.
Even now, this hurts, it’s painful to write, but I have to continue, letter by letter.

Poem: Her

Her

May be she didn’t get enough love to give it back.
May be she was taught to be like that.
She was a blank canvas like you and I.
Somebody painted it with shades of black.
She thinks only of herself,
Cause nobody else did
When nobody stood for her,
Her soul was forced to be rigid
I’ve seen her smile, I’ve heard her sing
They both told me stories which were hidden.
Just like the coin there is side 2!
Which she prefers to not show you.
She is afraid she might break again.
She has to fight in order to stay sane.
You may call her indifferent but I think otherwise.
She found demons in disguise….

-Vritti Khawani

Painful Continuation

I pass my days

Not knowing how to live

Not remembering how I did it

Unsure whether or not,

Ill make it through another day.

It’s too tough

The world consumes me,

In fear and unsureness.

I’m weak

I’m useless.

My mind tells me to cower in fear

And cry in despair

My heart tells me to give up

Stop following a path

That will only hurt me

But it’s the only path

“they” will accept

So what choice do I have?

The heart aches in pain

Knowing I wont fight

Fight the path I was told to follow

Following it with

Every footstep just as painful as the next

I won’t stop

Until I break

Broken soul

Broken mind

Broken heart

Broken life.

Even if I do make my own path

There is no support

And I need that

Because I’m weak

So no

I won’t stop dragging myself

On this path to destruction

I’ll keep hurting myself

Because that’s how it seems,

It’s meant to be

Days pass on

These feelings slowly build up

Until soon

I’ll explode

And it’ll all be over

Maybe then and only then

I’ll be set free

Free from whatever the world forces on me

Free from all the emotions that weigh me down,

In this hellish nightmare I live day to day

Please

Please

Just end it all

I just want freedom

I just want happiness

But in this life of mine

I just cant have that

“So just suffer and shut up

Accept it already!!!”

I’m sorry

I’m really sorry

True friends are rare and hard to find

True friends are rare and hard to find
If you find one then be ever so kind

Do not lose them, hold them near
That kind of love is ever so dear

No judgements nor criticims, not even close
Nothing bad, not ever nearly so gross

Just plain acceptance of who you are
They love you from near and ever so far

Forever lasts a real and true friendship
Happiness into your soul it will tip

So if in your life you’re given one such friend
Hold them near, never let it come to an end

To have a true friend is to be blessed for real
The best of the world they’ll always make you feel

Don’t fault them even when they disagree
For that’s what it means to truly be free

Treasure them always more then you would gold
They’ll make your heart warm when you feel cold

A real friend may come only once in your life
But they’re worth it always no matter the strife

If you find a true friend then lucky you are
One of the luckiest on earth, truly by far

This moment in time

This moment in time
Is all that we’re given
Treat it dearly
Before it is riven

Don’t look back
Last moment is passed
Like a stone in the sea
It has been cast

There may not be
A next moment for you
So worry you not
Over that one too

Make this one count
Live it to your best
Ability to do so
Don’t take it in jest

Lord grant you the wisdom
To live fully today
So that I missed it
You won’t have to say

Judge Not

I was shocked, confused and bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all, 
Nor the lights or its décor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp —
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Bob, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
‘I would love to hear Your take.
‘How’d all these sinners get up here?
‘God must’ve made a mistake.’

‘And why is everyone so quiet,
‘So somber — give me a clue.’
‘Hush, child,’ He said,
‘They’re all in shock!
‘No one thought they’d see you.’

~~Author Unknown
(Thought possibly written by either the worst sinner or
the most thankful person in heaven, or both!)