I thought that life would have so much to offer. The truth is.. is that it does; yet my life is slowly coming to an end. Opened Pandoras Box and was hit with forbidden love. Because I fell in love with someone and this time it was real, I’d never felt the way I did when I met her. Out of 19 years of seeing women, she was the ONLY ONE to give me butterflies. That’s when I knew it was love at first site. I told her and things didn’t go well. Mostly I think because we were under terms of the law “ HIPPA.” After multiple attempts to confess my love and get her to understand….she cut me completely out of her life. I was under the influence of denial. And then it hit me. It hit me so hard I thought I was going to die. I called her on my birthday, hoping that a sprint would be in my goodwill. But instead I got a short one sided convo, a “have a good life”, and the. The phone hung up. My world went black and over the months, I lost both of my jobs, I became addicted to coke and alcohol. With that started the grieving process. Except I grieved as if she had died, because that’s the amount of loss I felt. After a year of hell, I still can’t seem to let her go, no matter how hard or how many times.
I know I can find other fish , but when you find “the one,” where else are you suppose to look? And that is why i want to end my life, among a few other reasons. But this one … this is THE ONE. Only she can save me, I need closure, I need to see her one last time. If I don’t grasp her attention soon, then it’s the end. I’m only 19 , I know I’m young you don’t have to tell me. But people have to go sometimes. And that is why I’m sorry❤️
If anyone wants to reach out to her… let me know
I’ll send you her info