Starting Over

March 24,2018 is the day that my life changed forever. I was living in a tiny house with my fiancé, had a great job, and had no worries. My fiancé had a severe stroke that day at the age of 58. It was our anniversary.He will never be the same person that he was. I miss his laugh and the way we were, I miss being able to lay in bed with him and the way he held me and made me feel safe. I miss him even though he’s still in my life. We don’t live together anymore because he’s in rehab getting better. He has short term memory loss and brain damage. How much brain damage is uncertain. But he is getting better daily. He can talk and hold a conversation.There’s no emotion at times. I know it’s still early and that his personality will shine through soon.He’s paralyzed on his left side but can lift his leg a bit. I don’t know if he’ll ever walk again or be able to use his arm again.

I moved to be closer to him because living alone in the house scared me. I sank into a deep depression and could no longer work. All I can think about is my fiancé and watching him get better. He doesn’t know I’m sick with my aplastic anemia worsening. He called me yesterday for the first time. He worked the phone!It was great to hear his voice and the way he said my name the way he used to say it . I have so much hope for him. So much love. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. It hurts so bad when our visit is over and I have to leave. His short term memory is not so good. Every time I visit and he asks me what happened the day he had his stroke, I start from the beginning. He looks at me with so much love in his eyes when I tell him as if it’s the first time hearing it. He doesn’t realize how much progress he’s made. He’s more stronger then he thinks. Perhaps so am I.

4 thoughts on “Starting Over”

    1. It’s nice to hear from a member from the old site. I was beginning to think this place was deserted.Thank you for your comment and thoughts.

      1. We operate at a snails pace around here is all.
        And our snails hibernate so that needs to be taken into consideration as well.

        😉

  1. So sorry to hear this. I’m sure it is frightening to not be able to move parts of your body that were once easy to move. Bless both of your hearts. :/

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