Rheum Deep Depression and Psychedelic Mind ( My Story)

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It was 1994 perhaps when I experienced convulsions and it attacked two times. I was immediately escorted to a near by Developed City and Doctors did City Scan of my Brain. My Neural System and Brain was Normal. But I was declared attacked by Epilepsy and hence I was Prescribed Anti Convulsive Drug Carbamazepine ( Tegretol) and prescribed it until adult age. So I was medicated with this Drug until the age of 13 and then Withdrawn afterwards.Today I disclose I was unable to breath and trying to inhale….until I resumed breathing it happened two times and once when I was bathroom singing my heart started strange palpitation and I could touch it as it was beating as it is trying to get out of rib cage I could touch my heart muscles in my cheset bouncing out in rib cages I screamed and momentarily i perceived being pulled out to escorted and i ragained my senses and I started breathing again.

I experienced following Neural disorder symptoms such as Difficulty in Perceiving directions and places disturbances of coordination,confusion,oculomotor disturbances,speech disturbances,abnormal involuntary movements,depression with agitation and also Brain like Asperger Syndrome People but still interactive and can communicate
Also Nausea, vomiting, anorexia and loss of appetite, at the same time. And I also experienced 2 sharp blows on my head as well ….I can’t judge properly distance between two objects such as opposite side passing closely motorbikes….I can’t properly perform arithmatic function without calculators even everyday problems requiring four basic arithmatic functions such as Bodmas etc…But conceptually i am competent despite of cognitive arithmatic weakness..Can’t aim at with precision…

As Time passed my good performance in studies and intelligence covered these side effects and a stereotype developed that he is by nature introvert less talkative shy and a Book worm. because of excessive studies he is lean and losing weight.  also he remain absorbed in thoughts because  of excessive studies and reasoning.

Afterwards an Email exposed my inner thinking and dream world. I was entitled as odd person that is totally mistaken he is making sound sense and also cut the crap Hence I was accused that I take Drugs that has destroyed my Nervous System. Well the reality was medical profession business and not Drugs.

I was declared Schizophrenic and prescribed further Psychological Drugs and referred to Psychiatrists.

I was feed Resperidal , Anti PSychotic and anti Depression Drugs to normalize my thinking. I was fed resperidal for more than 10 years my breasts enlarged and I reported it. After that Drug was changed and Nocturnals proved normality Prescribed  haloperidol. and now
Well I was also declared hallucinated and I perceive hallucinations and I have a Self invented world in my brain as well.
I forget what i intended to do what I was trying to say which way I was going and Even struggling in making sense or co ordinate

So I experienced tremors, Shivering in Entire body periodically.

This is the brief history of my psychological Treatment.

I was 23 24 when my hairs started getting white or losing pigment until 33 I had lost black pigment totally and now my breast hairs are getting white  that clearly shows drugs intervention that has caused my hairs to get white

I am patient of chronic rheum as this mucus is often observed in my eyes outer surface secreted from mouth and blocks my nasal breathing as solid rheum or flowing liquid rheum looks disgusting..it just keep on flowing from nose until it completes its break period..but tell the truth my entire hairs are white or turning white…This Chronic disease has never been medicated at all till now…but always attributed as Rheumy.I was fed Dementia supportive Drugs as well even herbal syrups to improve academic memory and output.I have been perceived as disoriented person with perceptiveness difficulty or very weak aesthetic senses..Aishoo Syndrome…or Psychedelia Autism or another spectrum of Autism.I have Loss of healthy memory like old age forgetfulness….And an Autistic mind because even forgeting words required for verbal talk and having bumbling fluency…..Dioriented and if organized placed things are misplaced fetching it disorientating way and loses almost senses where it has been misplaced Struggling To recall names of people and faces imprint to reidentify….Using Sixth sense and blind senses that has replaced the aesthetic weakness….and reasoning replacing memorisation weakness….’The Insight’ replacing imperceptible Judgement. And above all Meditation taking place of excessive thoughts appearing as Preoccupied …
I had red rashe red and white puss acne and pimples on my back and face as well.It made me look Loathsome rather than Handsome. I felt like Job…but I have a great sense of humour…childlike people grow older white hairs earlier than mature ones …I am a 33 year old child whose hairs grow old…that’s just humorous. It only happens in Progeria and it has nothing to do in this case. But as wisdom increases white hairs start appearing…
The Hairs Turn white or early Aging results from Deep Depression Tensions Anxiety excessive future concerns or Any mental Shock that causes DDO or Deep Depression disorder …I just almost finished my self off for not being esteemed for what I delivered and being biased with stereotype of psychic and That’s what made me psychopath..
Deep Depression is cause of early aging and white hairs …It resulted in perceptiveness weakness It has nothing to do with orgasmic sperm ejaculation resulting from Nocturnal Erections It only gets you in refractory period
Heart problems are frequent here Asperger syndrome and Alzheimer syndrome is widely found and they remain undiagnosed also below standard of life like mad Dogs…

That’s how I symptomatically defined my brain and how it can be brought into work to be lucrative for economy and survive for himself…but it’s a harsh reality to face nobody burdens his life with such men of heaven minorities or people with mental handicapness that is not flesh and blood of them and they will never adopt them as a part of them with an opinion “No body brings other homes trash in their dust bin they will ash it every body bin his trash himself to recycle it or dispose it…….
It means everybody decides his flash and blood himself repudiate it or Guardian it…. As his blood will only pain to wound from where it is bleeding.

“A person with sensory perception weakness impaired short term memory and with normal intellectual  thinking competent sound inference”

When There was no way to get me married anti schizophrenia drugs have been fed to me I know leaving these drugs means I will lose that addict condition in which I stop forecasting my present and future concerns but I get reckless and violent in that drug free condition…hence this anti feeling hormonal imbalanced impotent drug is part of my blood since 2008 to 2019 Its resperidrone and hence I have came to realize because I can’t support myself My generation is not required Even reproductive Impotent men were successful in marrying and reproducing lunatic fringe were married but not a single case was victimised like me…I know those people that put me on drugs they were not going to give me their relation so that my sexual health is resumed as discussing this health is big embarrassment and issue.This Drug castrate chemically to produce sperms and society will Eunuch you or set you on fire to get rid of you When I was struggling to increase life span of my Dad Mom was circulating my CV My Dad was used to put last nail in the cascade I was castrated chemically was impotent and when I researched it I found these Doctors Drug butchers Rectors that were earning self perceived virtue by castrating chemically and robbing their victims..

I am not here to face avenges and intolerance neither I idealise them because I know they have not received any glad tiding from God All that I know is because of their grudge I have been left moneyless garmentless and I was forced to suicide attempt jobs in an Autistic mind where I had to be in a shelter house…I appealed the world for a shelter but nobody brought me in US Canada Australia Newzealand France Italy Russia China but due to security concerns nobody dared plane will land or get lost in air in no fly zone….

As If in autism I can be forced to job there is no estimation what is next and how long I can go.It is for sure that Considering my mental condition I may be forced to present medical fitness report and my disability is not a hurdle in performance of my job 2 times my mental test has been demanded and its 3rd time now until Rehabilitation Act confirm me as if a differently able compete on normal seat he can’t be terminated as he is capable to deliver but his disoriented perception is invoking mob violence and building firm children perception including plots to rob Murder or stone to death.

It is for sure I can’t carry on until there is no job threats to my supporters or their survival risk to them

That’s medical report of mental health

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