Neglect

Hello there,



I have not forgotten about you. I've just forgotten myself. 

Most days have been a blissful unawareness to the reality in my mind

and some days I am all to familiar and undertaken to it. 

The days of long drawn torment are upon me and I find

myself scowling at the pill bottle in front of me.



Work, dammit. Why aren't you working?

always, all the time.

The contrast between these realities leave me 

feeling weighed down. One moment I am walking 

with great fever, determined and mindful, feeling okay

and getting by.

Then, an all to familiar feeling, I've hit quicksand and 

my whole body feels like it's being pushed backwards.

I want to continue, but I get so tired, 

so damn tired. I just want to sleep, but I can't.



So there I am in this dream state, being held back,

sleep walking through my life. 



These days....

These days are the worst.

I think I'll go lay down now.