Red Cruz

  • I thought I would start a diary to get a handle on what this site is like.

    I work from home these days via Zoom. I am the lead process engineer helping to build a magnesium pilot plant in Vancouver. I hope […]

    • We need more enthusiastic writers in here, so if you’re prepared to write a serialised story then please do so. Back in the day Thoughts had a very vibrant community of writers from all walks of life who took part in writing challenges each week. They were good times and I will always remember them with fondness. Alas, some have died, and some have disappeared into cyber-space and I always wonder what they are all up to these days?

    • I had a friend I befriended on this very site years ago who was half Scottish/English living in France …I think he was in his early 70’s? WELL….he couldn’t get women off his mind. He absolutely LOVED women. He has since passed…..but even as he was slowly dying his last years….he couldn’t get women off his mind. So you see….even some grown up men think of women around the clock.

      I don’t think I could imagine a poly relationship or I should say I don’t really want to put much thought into it. But I am a firm believer in what ever floats your boat ☺️

      Very interesting field of work you are in.

    • Monica, fear often stops us from changing the status quo even if the change would result in a richer and fuller life. We avoid getting into situations that make us uncomfortable or trigger learned and painful responses. So, poly does all of that to most people, me included. But, my few poly experiences, where my wife was involved with another man, has changed me more than any other experience in my life. Facing my demons, although not easy for my wife to be caught in has made me a kinder, gentler person, more at peace with life than ever.

      I am 73 and I also really love women. I hike with a 40 year old woman who I really adore. (Nothing like an old fool.) I am able to come home and tell my wife all the feelings I am having and she sympathizes, coaches, and listens without any fear. Our rules are to tell each other what is important; these are usually more focused on feelings than actions. For example, with a previous woman, when I told my wife that I kissed S, it was no surprise to her because I had already told her that I had loved S for years.

      My wife and I because we share what is important, what is in our hearts, and are really our true selves with each other have an incredible relationship. Not perfect, but very good.

      What scares you about poly? Tell me something “important to you”, please.


      • There is nothing to “fear” over a poly relationship. It’s a just a relationship(s)
        If anyone “fears” it….maybe it’s not for them.

        I did have a tiny bit more to add but will later.

        • Monica, most people have fear that comes out as jealousy, anger, blame, or some other cover emotion. If you don’t have fears then I suspect you do not know yourself well. You can’t even have courage without fear since courage is moving forward even in the face of fear. And fears are not necessarily logical.
          Here is a logical fear … my lady works in education. A poly relationship could easily be met with so much disapproval to impact her effectiveness in her job or even result in dismissal. Most of the world is not okay with poly and such relationships are still illegal in most states. I know a couple pretty much pushed out of their neighborhood over poly .. With older people acceptance is far from a given. With people raised in traditional relationships jealousy is very common in poly and can lead to a lot of unhappy results that one might fear.

          • To me…..there is a BIG difference in “moving forward in the face of fear” and “Fear” in a “type” of relationship.

            A romantic relationship is a CHOICE in my book. Do I choose to walk down this path…..or not? What are the possible outcomes? Do I understand everything that could possibly happen? Could someone get hurt? Yes. Will someone get hurt? maybe not. If I understand all of the possible outcomes….. there is nothing to fear.
            Know the outcomes and dive in or get out.

            The happiness that you and your wife have is all that really matters in the end. Not what so and so thinks. You both knew it is a lifestyle choice that you couldn’t share with EVERYONE and you both still walked down that path. It is a lifestyle that may not be completely accepted in this lifetime…..and yet those relationships still go on.
            We humans operate at a Neanderthals pace someone said 😉

            I just learned early on that I have a choice to focus on the the nay sayers….or focus on the beautiful family & friends who “get it”. Nay sayers are on a totally different journey.

            We all have different fears. I just don’t see any fear in love & romance 💜

    • Well I would say that it depends on the group partaking in the relationship. Do they all think alike. Do they all have the same mind on life and love. I find that poly relationships are more old fashion than the typical. Their spiritual belief may have a part to play with them being successful on that path.
      I hate modernism. It ruins these ideas of wise adults

    • Well, I am here to read some of what makes you tick. 🙂 First of all, I have the same feelings you have, just not at the same object. As a gay male, my interest is directed toward men, not women but other than that, it is a large part of my thought process.

      However, poly relationships are something that I guess you could say I am afraid of. Well, not so much afraid of in the abstract but when it comes to knowing that a lover of mine might be having sex with someone else, I am a jealous person. I have only had one real relationship and he later confessed that we broke up because he couldn’t be faithful. It was a big deal to me.

      Of course, the confession came (and came publically) after he had literally denied it for years. Interestingly enough, I had been angry about the issue for a long time and his confession took that pain and anger away.

      Reading what you have said above, I see you suggesting that oftentimes dislike for poly is really about fear?!! Well, yes, there is a fear. The fear is that I am no longer enough….am less desirable etc. I was taught growing up that I was “less than” in subtle and not so subtle ways, so seeing the person I care about with someone else, is very hurtful to me…or was that time.

      Interestingly enough, despite the anger and pain that was involved, I did continue to care for him and share a house with him until he died 15 years ago of HIV. After the initial 2 years where we were intimately involved, the relationship was really not the same….the romantic part was never acted on again.

    • What thing that is absolutely required to give a poly relationship any chance is honesty. Trust has to be there and maintained with lots of communications. And yes, I have gone down the fear path also even when my lady was being very honest with me. I regret that now, because my fear/jealously did some damage to our relationship that has taken a very long time to repair; I am not sure it will ever be back to 100% (but it still very good). I have long since got over the jealousy and wish my lady would give me another chance … even if she is the one enjoying the freedom. But, once burnt, she does not trust me to be “not jealous.”

      Oh well, maybe next lifetime I will get it right.

  • Prologue

    Two people are brought together as they both struggle with tragedy in their lives.  The man is coping with the slow death of his wife as cancer takes a part of her each month.  Losing his job as c […]

  • Robert Roe posted an update in the group Group logo of All About LoveAll About Love 1 year, 2 months ago

    The Merging
    Two people are brought together as they both struggle with tragedy in their lives. The man is coping with the slow death of his wife as cancer takes a part of her each month. Losing his job as caretaker responsibilities make his life impossible and with mountains of medical debt he feels his life has become impossible. The woman,…[Read more]

    • Still trying to navigate site. I posted a story, “The Merging”, but still have trouble finding it to continue writing on it. And, it would seem wise to link it to this group … if that’s possible.

  • Robert Roe changed their profile picture 1 year, 2 months ago

  • Robert Roe's profile was updated 1 year, 2 months ago

  • I can’t find any stories on here. Under stories I see three short entries (sayings) but no stories. Are we waiting for someone to start? Are there in guidelines on what is permitted? Are their age ratings or similar on stories?

  • I was here around 2008 to 2011 ish. I had to use Rroe because Roe was already taken. Smile. You complained at the time. Greetings.

  • Robert Roe and Profile picture of JulesJules are now friends 1 year, 2 months ago

  • I wrote on this site a lot ten years ago. I had some good friends, a great romance, and a place to hide while my late wife was dying of cancer. I fell in love with a lady named Angel on this site; my wife and […]

    • Hello Robert, and welcome back to Thoughts. I think I remember you – somewhere in the depths of my mind a bell rang, but I can’t quite put my finger on it to be sure! Retreading old roads is not always the same experience it once was, time has moved on just like all the folk did when Thoughts closed it doors and became “Thinkr.” A community is only as good as the people who make it up, we are growing but at a much slower rate than compared to 2007. I think I’m right in saying that most original Thoughts members don’t know that Ben has reinvented it and brought it back.

      Blogging is not the same as it once was and social media has evolved so fast in the past few years meaning that there are a lot of sites that attract people to them for different reasons. It is quiet here in our neck of the woods, but I will say that a lot of old faces have popped their head in here periodically to say Hi and try out this new rendition of Thoughts.

      Anyhoo. . .I hope you decide to stick around.

    • Having just a few people around could be just right for exposing a few of my inner thoughts. I am interested in the story section … Thanks Jules for the welcome. I imagine that I remember the name Jules, but who knows; our minds definitely have the ability to make up stuff and then sell it to us as reality.

    • Welcome back Robert!

      • Colorado Dreamin, I think I remember your name, but I do not remember anything about you … sorry.

      • Thank you … I remember your name also … I am hoping I remember more, or you tell me and I can say, oh, I remember that … smile.

      I don’t recall that beard….I don’t recall reading blogs by you….BUT….I think I remember the name RROE.
      IF that is what you went by. I remember because I remember Rosemary Thoughts Publicist at the time had an account under Roe….but I noticed another person with RRoe who wasn’t Rosemary. But that’s pretty much all I can recall. WHICH by the way is A LOT to remember for someone like me 😉

      And you most likely do not know me cause I was not a famous super star ⭐️blogger. But I was a Super Star 🌟 forum person 😳…………. 😂 (teasing of course)

      I see Super Star ⭐️ Jules has been filling you in on the place.
      Hope you stick around.

    • Monica,
      Yes, I took Rroe because Roe was already taken. I didn’t have a beard ten years ago; I was young, handsome and clean-shaved in those days (just ask me). So, what do you mean “a person like me”. You seem perfectly okay to me judged by your thoughts and writing … which is actually a pretty nice thing to be assessed by …


      P.S. I do remember the name Monica, but I do not remember your personal stories … I would love for you to bring me up to speed.

      • Being a forum person….we didn’t really have stories to share like bloggers did. I mean…we always have a good story but in my case it was a time thing. And being able to pop in and just respond to a few forum post was so easy and fun. To take the time to read blogs or write blogs….takes time. And back in those days I didn’t have that time.

    • Just dropping by after a year being gone … pandemic and other assorted happenings. I will try to remember to drop by more often if you will share a story about yourself from time to time.

    • I’m one of those popping my head round the door to see who’s in, as I do occasionally, not nearly enough. Nice to see so many names I recognize. Life got way too busy with two growing boys and all the rest so I just don’t seem to have the same time to indulge in my writing as I once did back in the day. “HI” to all of you anyway. I’m like a ghost that still haunts the old place – I’m still here even though you don’t see me around.

    • I cant say I ever caught your name. My song here once filled the air and evaporated with the years. How things change in a decade. I’m glad your here, at last again. Im here a bit, not as much as i’d like, but here nonetheless. Glad to see you here.

  • Where is the blog button, or link, or whatever so that I can start writing?

  • Not doing so well today. Actually I haven’t been doing so well. Depression has been a near constant companion and when it’s not depression it’s full blown manic along with spells of psychosis. I can’t go on like […]

  • I’ve been really, really god these past couple of weeks. Ever since the doc upped my risperidal intake to maximum I have been flying normal. Normalcy is not to be underrated when you’ve had the past few months […]

  • I have been having really good days. Despite minor fluctuations, minor diversions from centerline, I have actually been living life for once. I have been smiling. I actually laugh with my wife. Real laughter and […]

  • It’s been a strange sort of day. Been down then up. I am finishing the day on an up beat.

    All told my ups and downs have been very mild. Like the gentle, rolling swells of the ocean on a bright, sunny […]

  • I have never met a mentally disordered person who would not have easily scored in the genius range on an IQ test. I myself easily score in the low 160’s in every test I’ve ever taken. Genius begins at 147. So it […]

  • I am bipolar type II. Not I have bipolar. It is not a disease. It is a disorder and yet it is my life. In addition I have schizo effective disorder, dissociative identity disorder and generalized anxiety […]

  • Load More