Red Cruz posted an update 4 years, 8 months ago
Dry Memory, the inside of a Rose.
It was a breezy day outside when Johnny came to fetch me for a coffee meeting. A good time in an afternoon rush to have a coffee on a cozy place where we used to meet back on the times that hurrying is never an option.
Just right before I left my room. A sudden change of the air seized. Seconds before I set my second step out the room. It was a dry fragment of my childhood. I saw my young self crawling away form the menacing steps of father. Seeing my hands covered up with mud that palette my whole face as I drop myself to fit under my bed. It was dark, but not the usual dark. It could be dim, lighted maybe a bloody moon which appears once in a lightyear perhaps. Reminding me of the perfect love of soft distant lost.
I continue to straddle my third step and the mirage has vanished.
Johnny, in front of his rusty owned jeep which he doesn’t want to change from the day his father died, seems to be lighted up by my mere presence. His aura turns lighter than pink but not really pink. An almost peach but whiter than orange peach and darker than hint of pink. Or it might be just the sweet rays of the afternoon sun which touches the ground and bounces back to his rugged revealed green trousers. I studied his looks and his hair waving on me like it’s trying to rope me up closer to him. I stopped around 5 meters away from him making it a good distant just so I can speak up. The moment he made a move to get closer, I get to see his hands on my shoulder carresing my back. I can feel his palm moving onto my shoulder blade. Too late to recognize I am already in his embrace. That nostalgic slumber on my childhood again seized. Those mud disappeared , now it was him on his innocent caressing. That kid is now a gent with a chest I always buried my face onto as much as I remembered.
In minutes, we’re almost on the cozy cafe. The sound, the lights, the tables and curtain reminds me of a fire jocose now turning a graveyard that chills me as we get closer to it.
Johnny walking behind me signaled me to halt from taking steps further.
He was pointing the corner of the cafe. A woman was sitting on the right side sipping a bit of his tea or maybe a latte. But I’m sure it’s tea because of the tiny grip where I used to see my grade school mate’s grandma always using it whenever she invites us to a tea partyin his favorite tree garden.
I remember that woman. I saw her on the graduation day. She was the face I saw on phone screensaver of a significant person to me. I’ve saw her many times whenever Johnny and I celebrate occasions.
Johnny ushered me towards the lady and let me sit in front of her. On the opposite, him with her.
I knew it that right this mirror beside the table we seated onto,witnessed my rolling tears. Tears only transparent things can see.
I smiled at them when they handed me a white envelope. Uttering nothing.
It’s been 10 years since I saw last time that kind of nostalgic shape of paper when my sister got married. Smells like a lavender that soothes my wandering mind. Then I saw myself again being seized with my childhood memories. Johnny was cheering me up when I fell down from my bike and we were laughing cause I got bruised on my right knee. I knew that my mom would scold me getting this. And It happened.
I reached out my hand while I try to cover up my light scars on my right knee.
I said to myself. I’m losing a friend forever.
My hands were shaking as I try to unveil the envelope. Johnny pushes back my hand softly on the table.
My phone rang in the midst of my nerves facing them. I stood up and excused myself.
I can vividly remember how his voice echoed on my head when I walk away. My tears were blinding me and it drown my eyes. I never looked back. So I never looked back.
3:35 PM 15/01/2018