Noah Body

  • Dear God,

    It’s me again. I’m gonna try to stay in touch from now on.

    Well You know I screwed up again. Big time. Ended up in the crisis center, sgsin. Spent two long weeks there. But You did it again. When […]

  • Where did I go wrong? Don’t tell me. I know. I’ve lost her for good. Forever.

    I created a fake Facebook account and checked out his profile.

    He is listed as in a relationship with my wife. There are […]

  • Dear Father above,

    We need to talk. It’s been too long.

    I’ve blamed You for turning Your back on me when it was I who turned his back on You. I felt like You’d abandoned me when it was in fact I who had […]

  • Now our roof is leaking badly in our home in North Carolina. Been lots of bad storms down there. Could be storm damage. If so maybe insurance will pay for it. If not I will need to sell my car in addition to the […]

  • Not doing well again tonight. Or still. Or whatever. Am I ever doing well? I long for death. I need a job. I need a bloody miracle. I need these fucking tears to stop. I need a drink. Or a joint. Or both.

    No. […]

  • This goddamn depression has to end. It is so deep. So very deep.

    Ascend among glittering stars
    Stare at life though the bars
    An anachronism is all you are
    Touting love, a song bizarre

  • A bad day. Very bad. Hard to take after a stress free week and a half in Alaska. Monstrous headache as stress levels have gone through the roof already. Stomach in knots so tight that I think I’m going to throw […]

  • Thank you for reading and for the hugs. There is nothing TO say.

  • Things finally came to a head on Saturday.

    Before her trip to Disneyworld with my daughter I had tried all weekend to get my wife to go out to eat with me. She kept coming up with excuses. She was camping with […]

  • I’ve lost my health insurance and so I’ve had to cut back on my meds to try and stretch them although I don’t see the point. They’ll run out soon enough and then I will go nuts. I can only hope they last until […]

  • Noah Body commented on the post, the end 2 years, 8 months ago

    Someday I will simply vanish

  • We are beyond talking. She has a boyfriend. She tells him she loves him, She tells me it is over with him but I hear her say “I love you”. I cannot survive this. Seriously.

  • Hello darkness my old friend
    We are joined once again

    I screwed everything all up
    I know I did it in closeup

    She was giving me a chance
    Now I see it’s gone at a glance

    She whispers she loves him
    Tears […]

  • I fucked up big time. My wife was giving me a chance. A real chance. I didn’t realize it and made a post on Facebook that I should have made here. It was all about how uncomfortable I feel in our home in NC […]

  • And I am so glad to see you are still around. Don’t worry. I don’t know how to navigate this site either.

  • It is a relatively good day so far but then the day has just started so we’ll see where it goes from here. So far depression is very mild, there are no voices in my head and there are no tears. I am doing good so […]

  • I’m doing all right today, all things considered. No tears. Only a mild depression. No insane thoughts. A bit jittery but that’s a daily thing. Also no headache for the first time in days. I didn’t sleep well […]

  • It’s been 5 days since I’ve seen her. Yesterday was one of those don’t answer the phone days so I think she was with her boyfriend. It is killing me.

    Tonight we have a concert to go to. Prokol Harum. She asked […]

  • Stress, stress and more stress.

    Someone broke into my son’s home while he was at work. Nothing was taken but they left the front door wide open. Kate, our dog who stays there with him, got out and ran away. We […]

  • “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.”

    Stephen King

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