• not_a_human posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    So , today i couldn’t keep my thoughts in and wanted to share it all . I’m a feminist . I’ve been one even before i knew what the word meant . idk its just in me . but now its eating me . its getting toxic for me . I found out that it has changed who i am . Since i was 15 year old , ive been acting fake because i hate the fact that i’m a girl . I knew that . I’ve always hated being a girl . but today , i kept thinking about it . I’ve been acting like i dont care about people . i dont remember their bdays . i say to them ” i’m bad at remembering dates” ,but its not that , i just chose not to . i wanted to act like i dont care coz i wanted to be like a boy , boys are carefree . i even acted like i dont remember my family member’s bday . this is so bad . i feel like i’m sick . i always told my friends that i dont like nailpaints and bcz i kept saying it . i kinda believed it myself . but a few days ago i tried it and i liked it but i removed it . i dont know .i know these aren’t a big deal but its my daily life stuff . i act cold . i like people to think that im strong . i feel ashamed to do girly stuff . i dont know . maybe im really sick .

    • You do not have to be a specific gender to be yourself! You can have a body of a girl and act ‘boy’. There isn’t a guidebook on how to be a girl or a boy. We change as humans and evolve. Who I was 1 year ago (even a month ago) is very different from who I am now. Why? Because we go through things, learn, evolve, and get to know ourselves better.
      So go put on that nail paint, don’t care about birthdays (but then don’t care if others don’t care about your birthday either).. Boys aren’t carefree .. and let’s not use the word boy because everybody is different in nature. People are carefree because they are either selfish or care selectively. You choose who you want to be and who you want to care about. I am a girl who chose to play with sports because i did not care for shopping like many around me. I picked cars over makeup and such. Does not make me less of a female. You acting cold means you are hurt and vulnerable and confused. So go do what you want to do. Again define yourself by your own standards and live it. You will then feel strong and don’t have to act it. Good luck