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  • Jennifer Lynn Cochran posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    ” Mr. Dark Mind”
    I’ve been seeing this guy since my early teens. He chases me down to control me whenever he can. I’ve tried everything to ditch him but he is relentless. I hate him and I want him punished. He stalks me in my happiest days and tries to steal my fun in life. I’m talking about depression. Depression starting chasing me when I was fourteen years old. It has disabled my life in deep ways. I have gone into seclusion in my room and gone insane with sadness and regret many times in my life. He drags me into a dark closet where I’m trapped with everything and everyone that torments my mind. I hate him! He stole several years of my life telling me that I’m worthless and no one cares about me. He drowned me in self hatred. He makes everything in life seem meaningless and boring. He steals so much energy from me sometimes. He’s even tempted me to take my own life on many occasions. I spent many years researching and soul searching on a way to keep him out of my life. I finally found a way to keep him locked in his own dark closet as I escape into the light of love. It’s like turning the channel on the television. When I have tormenting thoughts of the past, I simply change my mind channel. I deliberately force myself to think upon good thoughts and memories. It’s not easy doing that when he has your neck in a strangle hold of fear. It takes time and practice but it does work and it gets easier and more natural the more you practice. I’m not going to live my life feeling regret and the fear of death. I don’t sit around and let him whisper his dirty lies into my mind anymore. He’s a liar! I am worth something! My life does matter. It matters to me and I am deeply in love with myself today. I won’t let him take my joy ever again. I control what roams around in my head. Mr. Dark Mind, you’re not welcome here anymore🦋

    • Hey, I know this guy too, and for all the truth you speak to him, for me there is one more. For as backwards and malignant as he can be those hugs are so soft and deep and normal. I think we came to that same conclusion at some point, turn him off. Unfortunately I’ve always felt him to be some rogue that slowly cooks you over months until you wake up some sunny day expecting rain and are miserable for it. Give him character, give him space, define him and defeat him.

      • I like that a lot. I am sorry that he has tormented you as well Ben. He creates a cruel world for our minds. I really felt that last sentence. Give him character, give him space, define him and defeat him. That was my purpose of this writing. Maybe make someone else see that there is a way of escape. Thank you for the wonderful comment.

    • You are a beautiful soul and you deserve all the happiness you dream of. Never allow anyone to tell you you’re not worthy of that. I know it might not be an easy thing to do. Transitions take time. You have to find a way to stay strong and get rid of this situation. Just so you know I will be here for you anytime. I’m all ears and trust me i could e very persuasive in my opinions to change people. You can count on me.

      • Thank you dear. I have a strong victory against depression now for the past two years of my life. What I described here really works about keeping constant watch on the thoughts that I let roam around in my head. I found out that I am responsible for my own depression. I willingly swam around in bad thoughts for far too long. You get out what you put into your head. I just started reprogramming my mind like a computer. I only let good thoughts about myself hang around my thought life. Happy thinking really does change my life. I have a victory over depression. This entry just shows what I have went through in my head. I really appreciate that you will be here for me. Maybe you can share some things that keep you happy and content in life.