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Okay, I’ll get it started.

Adventures of Huckleberry Den
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The following discussion took place a few months ago when my VA drinking buddies got together for our weekly poker game.
Jake: My wife is always bitching that all I want to do is sit around drinking.
Marty: BFD. All our wives do that.
Me: I have an idea. Let’s start a group. We’ll say we’re a professional group of . . .
Felix: Drunks?
Me: Bartenders. Hank, you used to be a bartender, didn’t you?
Hank: Still am. Part time. To help out my brother-in-law once in a while.
Marty: Your brother-in-law owns a bar? Why didn’t you tell us about that?
Felix: Hell yes. Maybe he’ll give us discounts on drinks.
Hank: You all can go there if you want, but I’m out. Anyway, he doesn’t own it, he just runs it.
Felix: You got something against cheap drinks?
Hank: No, I got something against my sister knowing everything I do and then telling my wife about it.
Felix: Ah. He’s got a point there, guys.
Me: So we can start this group, see. And we’ll incorporate as a non-profit.
Jake: That shouldn’t be a problem.
Felix: So, how is that supposed to help us?
Me: Well, then we can tell the wives we’re not drinking, we’re doing research.
Jake: Research? Like my wife is going to buy that bullshit. Bartenders doing “research”? Even I would laugh at that.
Hank: Not bartenders. Mixologists.
Marty: Huh?
Hank: Mixologists.
Felix: What the hell is that?
Hank: It’s a fancy name for bartenders.
Jake: Sounds important.
Hank: Sounds complicated. That’s the whole idea.
Me: That’s right. We’re experimenting, trying to find some new mixed drink that will take the world by a storm.
Felix: I can just hear my wife now. “Right, Jasper (she calls me Jasper), because we just don’t have enough alcoholic beverages in this world!”
Me: Well, I think it’s worth a try. In fact, we could actually try to come up with a few new drink ideas. Who knows? What do you think, Hank?
Hank: Sounds like fun. I don’t think any of our wives will buy it, but I’ve had a few ideas floating around for a while. I’d love to see what I can come up with.
Me: Alrighty then. The rest of us can be your test tasters. Taste testers. Tsss, hell you know what I mean.
Jake: Yes, we drink just like we always do, but we call it research.
Me: Okay, I’ll take care of the paperwork. What do we call it?
Felix: Better Health through Alcohol.
Jake: Drunks of the World Unite!
Me: No, I’m thinking something more sophisticated, like . . .
Hank: Well, this is going to take a while, so time to hit the head.
Me: Professional Mixologists Society.
(Silence. Expressions of thoughtful ponderance.)
Felix: I think I speak for all of us when I say, huh?
Me: Professional Mixologists Society.
Felix: Whatever.
Hank: Whatever.
Jake: Felix, why does your wife call you “Jasper?”
* * * * *
Well, we became the Professional Mixologists Society, and I became its president. That didn’t last long, though. I was fired when Felix’s wife saw the acronym on our letterhead.