March 21, 2021. Wednesday

I thought I would start a diary to get a handle on what this site is like.

I work from home these days via Zoom. I am the lead process engineer helping to build a magnesium pilot plant in Vancouver. I hope to bring one plant back from China that controls 85% of the market. The pandemic has really slowed the building of the plant. It’s frustrating, but that is life these days. I am alive and vaccinated, so good.

I am going to a barbeque on Saturday with three other vaccinated couples. Yea. I have a crush on one of the ladies, we will call D. No, my lady would not be surprised or even jealous. I think we could be poly with the right people; however, these days there is not a long line of women lining up to explore such liberal concepts. My lady stays too busy on her business; otherwise, I am sure she could get a line to form. When I grow up, I am going to quit thinking about women so much.

I published a novel, California 2084, in 2018. I am working on several others. One of them, The Merging, I am thinking of putting on here one chapter at a time. However, I am not sure there is enough traffic on here that it would get read.

I am trying to lose weight. In the last two weeks I have lost ten pounds. I fast for 21 hours a day, kind of. If I need a snack during the fasting time I eat something with no carbs, like eggs. During the 3 hours I eat, I don’t get crazy and I go light on carbs. If I eat desert it is something like yogurt and fruit. It seems to be working so far, but everyday is struggle about this time.

I am a pretty open book. If you want to know something ask and I will probably answer.

11 thoughts on “March 21, 2021. Wednesday”

  1. We need more enthusiastic writers in here, so if you’re prepared to write a serialised story then please do so. Back in the day Thoughts had a very vibrant community of writers from all walks of life who took part in writing challenges each week. They were good times and I will always remember them with fondness. Alas, some have died, and some have disappeared into cyber-space and I always wonder what they are all up to these days?

  2. I had a friend I befriended on this very site years ago who was half Scottish/English living in France …I think he was in his early 70’s? WELL….he couldn’t get women off his mind. He absolutely LOVED women. He has since passed…..but even as he was slowly dying his last years….he couldn’t get women off his mind. So you see….even some grown up men think of women around the clock.

    I don’t think I could imagine a poly relationship or I should say I don’t really want to put much thought into it. But I am a firm believer in what ever floats your boat โ˜บ๏ธ

    Very interesting field of work you are in.

  3. Monica, fear often stops us from changing the status quo even if the change would result in a richer and fuller life. We avoid getting into situations that make us uncomfortable or trigger learned and painful responses. So, poly does all of that to most people, me included. But, my few poly experiences, where my wife was involved with another man, has changed me more than any other experience in my life. Facing my demons, although not easy for my wife to be caught in has made me a kinder, gentler person, more at peace with life than ever.

    I am 73 and I also really love women. I hike with a 40 year old woman who I really adore. (Nothing like an old fool.) I am able to come home and tell my wife all the feelings I am having and she sympathizes, coaches, and listens without any fear. Our rules are to tell each other what is important; these are usually more focused on feelings than actions. For example, with a previous woman, when I told my wife that I kissed S, it was no surprise to her because I had already told her that I had loved S for years.

    My wife and I because we share what is important, what is in our hearts, and are really our true selves with each other have an incredible relationship. Not perfect, but very good.

    What scares you about poly? Tell me something “important to you”, please.


    1. There is nothing to “fear” over a poly relationship. It’s a just a relationship(s)
      If anyone “fears” it….maybe it’s not for them.

      I did have a tiny bit more to add but will later.

      1. Monica, most people have fear that comes out as jealousy, anger, blame, or some other cover emotion. If you don’t have fears then I suspect you do not know yourself well. You can’t even have courage without fear since courage is moving forward even in the face of fear. And fears are not necessarily logical.
        Here is a logical fear … my lady works in education. A poly relationship could easily be met with so much disapproval to impact her effectiveness in her job or even result in dismissal. Most of the world is not okay with poly and such relationships are still illegal in most states. I know a couple pretty much pushed out of their neighborhood over poly .. With older people acceptance is far from a given. With people raised in traditional relationships jealousy is very common in poly and can lead to a lot of unhappy results that one might fear.

        1. To me…..there is a BIG difference in “moving forward in the face of fear” and “Fear” in a “type” of relationship.

          A romantic relationship is a CHOICE in my book. Do I choose to walk down this path…..or not? What are the possible outcomes? Do I understand everything that could possibly happen? Could someone get hurt? Yes. Will someone get hurt? maybe not. If I understand all of the possible outcomes….. there is nothing to fear.
          Know the outcomes and dive in or get out.

          The happiness that you and your wife have is all that really matters in the end. Not what so and so thinks. You both knew it is a lifestyle choice that you couldn’t share with EVERYONE and you both still walked down that path. It is a lifestyle that may not be completely accepted in this lifetime…..and yet those relationships still go on.
          We humans operate at a Neanderthals pace someone said ๐Ÿ˜‰

          I just learned early on that I have a choice to focus on the the nay sayers….or focus on the beautiful family & friends who “get it”. Nay sayers are on a totally different journey.

          We all have different fears. I just don’t see any fear in love & romance ๐Ÿ’œ

      2. I would be too jealous and hurt by a poly relationship. I want all of the love and attention. There are too many eligible men in this world to share. To each his own. I am selfish lover.

  4. Well I would say that it depends on the group partaking in the relationship. Do they all think alike. Do they all have the same mind on life and love. I find that poly relationships are more old fashion than the typical. Their spiritual belief may have a part to play with them being successful on that path.
    I hate modernism. It ruins these ideas of wise adults

  5. Well, I am here to read some of what makes you tick. ๐Ÿ™‚ First of all, I have the same feelings you have, just not at the same object. As a gay male, my interest is directed toward men, not women but other than that, it is a large part of my thought process.

    However, poly relationships are something that I guess you could say I am afraid of. Well, not so much afraid of in the abstract but when it comes to knowing that a lover of mine might be having sex with someone else, I am a jealous person. I have only had one real relationship and he later confessed that we broke up because he couldn’t be faithful. It was a big deal to me.

    Of course, the confession came (and came publically) after he had literally denied it for years. Interestingly enough, I had been angry about the issue for a long time and his confession took that pain and anger away.

    Reading what you have said above, I see you suggesting that oftentimes dislike for poly is really about fear?!! Well, yes, there is a fear. The fear is that I am no longer enough….am less desirable etc. I was taught growing up that I was “less than” in subtle and not so subtle ways, so seeing the person I care about with someone else, is very hurtful to me…or was that time.

    Interestingly enough, despite the anger and pain that was involved, I did continue to care for him and share a house with him until he died 15 years ago of HIV. After the initial 2 years where we were intimately involved, the relationship was really not the same….the romantic part was never acted on again.

  6. What thing that is absolutely required to give a poly relationship any chance is honesty. Trust has to be there and maintained with lots of communications. And yes, I have gone down the fear path also even when my lady was being very honest with me. I regret that now, because my fear/jealously did some damage to our relationship that has taken a very long time to repair; I am not sure it will ever be back to 100% (but it still very good). I have long since got over the jealousy and wish my lady would give me another chance … even if she is the one enjoying the freedom. But, once burnt, she does not trust me to be “not jealous.”

    Oh well, maybe next lifetime I will get it right.

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