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Mania, again

Good morning world.

I ran a little manic last night. Full blown mania not hypomanic. I was running at light speed. I took my sleeping pills and tried to go to sleep. No success so I tried smoking a bowl from my dwindling supply of herb. I thought for sure it would slow me down enough to sleep but it was no go. I did not even get a buzz. I was running too fast. I think I passed off to slumberland around 2:30 AM. I slept fitfully, waking constantly and woke around 6.

I am still manic. Or perhaps it is hypomanic since I am a bit more in control. My thoughts still speed by like lightning. My fingers fairly fly over the keyboard. I did not even need coffee this morning. I did, however, make a cup. Force of habit I guess.

I am very much up. Elated. Sense of invincibility. Like I own the world and everything in it. Moving too fast to follow. Full of energy that cannot be controlled. Thoughts awhirl. Stomach knots gone, thank God for small favors. Or even big ones. Too wide awake. Hands and feet going. Smoking up a storm.

Yes I am going too fast for my own good.

This does not bode well. It means I am still unstable. Normally it is months between manic spells. Now it is two inside two weeks. The last one saw some psychosis associated with it. I hope and pray this one does not.

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