Recently, I went through my first “real” break up. It’s a very complicated situation to even type down, but it sucks none the less. In this break up I’ve gone through so many emotional stages but I’ve finally reached a point where I feel “ok” and like I’m handling myself better. Now, I’m ready to learn from this and I have. I’ve learned how important communication is, I’ve learned how important it is to share feelings and worries and insecurities no matter how uncomfortable or awkward the situation is. The more we hold things in and not stay open with our partner(s) the worse off we will be. And, I’m no pro. Honestly I fucking hate dating, dating is so complicated and full of drama, but now I know I’m remotely capable of being in a relationship and now I know some things I want/don’t want. I’ve learned this year that “letting go” isn’t just some inspirational quote you share on facebook, but something you actually fucking have to deal with as an adult if you want to live life…as an adult. Being a grown up means learning to let go even when it’s so god damn hard. Even when you’re heart is literally shattering in a million pieces and you think you’ll never be normal again. It’s true, things will get better but first they will get worse. First you will be tested and you will come face to face with the darkest parts of yourself. You will get called out and you will call others out and you will have to suck it the fuck up.
I’m facing some things about myself right now, I’ve owned up to it, talked it out and also living with it. I want to be happy and healthy and sometimes that means “hey I deserve better, but I can only do that if I learn from this and be an actual fucking queen.”
Break ups suck, of any kind. Let the feelings pour in, experience the pain because you deserve to. Don’t fight it.. learn from them.
Think of your life as a rainy day. You know you wanna sleep away the gloomy day but at the same time you have to get up and get your shit together. You realize the rain and cloudy days can be beautiful..even in it’s darkness.
It can’t rain all the time.