It has been a really long time since i have posted anything. Things have been really crazy these last few years. i got married and had 4 beautiful kids. i got my cdl and now i am a truck driver but i still fell like there is something that is missing out of my life and sometimes i cant figure out what it is that i am still missing. I love my husband and he has been nothing but good to me but idk we have been together for going on 6 years now and i feel like something bad is going to happen soon but i cant put my finger on it as to what it is that is going to happen. It feels like he is slipping away and like im gonna loose him or something. It also feels like there is no spark there anymore which i feel like i shouldnt feel like that but i cant help feeling like that. I dont want to leave him or anything i just wish that i didnt feel like i am loosing his intrest and that we are going to end up apart. There are also times when i feel like he is only with me because of the kids. I dont blame him because we have both only had 1 parent our whole lives and we do not want to put the kids through that. well at leaste i dont.. so if there are reasons why i am feeling like this does it meant that it is the end for us or does it mean that he is cheating on me? its these questions that eat at me everyday and i should not be feeling like this. I just want to feel the spark again or feel like i am more than a nanny or an housekeeper. So do i question him about it all or do i just let things be the way that they are and just let it all slowley slip away so the kids dont have to go through trying to pick which parant they would want to live with? these questions are the questions that i have been trying to avoid all together but i have that feeling that they are not going to be going anythwere for a while or at all or until its too late to ask those questions and i will be putting my kids through everything that i have been through.