July 26, 2019 – AM

Good morning sweet world.

I have another monstrous headache. It kept me up all night, gobbling Aleve. Never knew Aleve not to work but it hasn’t been for me lately. Tylenol doesn’t work. I am immune to them.

Good news is that I am stable. Stable and, while not quite grounded, I am at least centered. Neither up nor down. My head hurts too much for the wild thoughts to spin. Indeed it hurts too much to think.

Thankfully the voices are silent. Or the voice which is what usually pesters me. Thank God for that. My head could not take their cacophony.

I have been very unstable ever since getting out of the hospital. My wife syas that is because I give in to it although to me it seems I fight it every step of the way. Well no more. I will no longer give in to it. I will not lie down and let it run over me. I have coping mechanisms to hand. I will use them. Not sink into the depths of hell. I will not let it win. I will fight the voices and the beast and those damn suicidal ideations. They shall not beat me.

Thank you, Allie, for showing me just how weak I’ve been. From now on I shall be strong. I vow it.

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