Journal – Sept 1, 2017

It is not such a bad day. The neurological spell from yesterday is over. The depression is all but gone. No panic attacks although I did have one last night. No headaches. I slept well without waking once. All together a good day.
 
Actually I think I found the secret to a god night’s sleep without waking with a headache. Just take two Advil PM’s before going to bed then I seem to sleep well without a headache. It has worked two days in a row.
 
I have to call the disability lawyer today. I received a paper for him from the state in the mail. Not sure why it came to me but it asks for things like my tax returns and such. It gives a deadline of the 14th so the sooner I contact him the better.
 
The doctor’s visit yesterday went OK. I was mostly normal by the time I got there. Normal for me, not normal for others. He did not notice anything else wrong with me. He put in his notes that I should be considered permanently disabled which is a good thing. He also harangued me about smoking and my weight. It seems I am gaining weight on each visit. I am embarrassed to say what I way now but it is far above my fighting weight. He recommended a diet high in fruits and vegetables and low in carbohydrates as well as an increase in my activity level. I don’t eat many vegetables so that leaves mostly fruit. My wife already buys a lot of fruit but it is all for her, my daughter and Bella. Guess I’ll have to join that bandwagon. I do want to lose this pot belly. I lost a lot of it when I quit drinking but it is slowly coming back. Just imagine how it would be if I was still drinking beer at the rate that I used to. As for increasing my activity level we keep talking about starting walking and going to the gym but we never do it. Maybe I will push the issue a little bit. With my knees as bad as they are, especially the left one, I am not sure how much I can do but surely I can do something. I would like to start lifting weights again. I have lost almost all my muscle tone and I used to be quite built. Now it’s all in my gut.
 
I think I will do some more yard work today. I still have a ton of branches to get out of the back yard then I have a huge area to rake up. They finally took away the branches I put out last week so it is time for me to put some more out.
 
All of this, BTW, is my daughter’s back yard. I can’t live here without helping out. It would be nice if the boys helped me but we all know THAT’S not going to happen. Not unless I pay them which I refuse to do. It IS their home too after all. Oh I could demand they help and their would be crying and complaining and eventually they would do it but it would be under duress and they would not do as nice a job.
 
Well be good and stay strong. Always face the world with a smile, Never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good laugh per day. There is real life changing magic in smiles and hugs and laughter.

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