Journal – May 25, 2018

Well we went down to North Carolina for a week. I was lucky enough to be able to do. Or was I? It was a week full of work. I polyurethaned the new cabinets and doors. 6 coats of liquid poly since regular poly would have run. We took a tall cabinet from the bathroom (it kept falling over since the bathroom floor isn’t level), turned it on it’s back, upholstered the door and made a bench for the poor. It also has storage space underneath the seat. I put up a bird feeder and several birdhouses. We have unbelievable birds down there. 4 cardinals, 2 blue jays, several robins and finches and a bird I’d never seen before. It was bigger than a cardinal and had an orange head. It did not have a crest like a cardinal. It’s wings were black and white checked. It was a truly remarkable bird.

We also bought some plants, mostly spices to repel the bees, and planters. It was my job to plant and water them although I wonder if they’ll be all right without us there to keep them watered. All of them called for partial sun but I had to sit them off of the porch so they could catch any rain that comes by.

And we bought a wrought iron bench with wooden slabs that needed assembly. We finally have seating for around 12 people on the porch. It’s 30 feet by 15 feet so it’s plenty big enough for it.

I used some scraps from the last time we were down there and did the roof of the porch in texture 111. I used the scraps to finish off the leading edge of the porch to keep the carpenter bees and mud wasps out. I ran out of scraps at around 2/3 complete so we will need to buy one more sheet of texture 111 to finish it off. Most of that sheet will go to waste unless I can find a way to use it to finish off the one side of the porch roof that is still open. My brother in law told me I need to do a bird’s beak there whatever that is.

Bad news. Real bad. Was having a good long talk with my wife on the way down. She told me she thinks of me as a brother and if she gets horny then she’ll just go out and get laid. Now tell me? How can I ever trust her down there without me again? She’s supposed to have her girlfriends from work come down while I am back in Jersey late July and early August for doctor’s appointments and 2 weddings I have to go to. Those girls are wild and my wife will be the first one to say so. How can I trust her alone with them? Hell, how can I trust her alone at all? As far as I am concerned if that is how it is then our marriage is already over. I hesitate to say that to her, though, for fear that she’ll agree and I’ll lose her for good.

And like the fool I am when she lost one of her earings (she only had the one set) I went to Kay Jewelers and bought her a set of diamond earings with a bracelet to match. Easy peezy. I just put it on my Kay’s card. $45/month. I know I am a fool but I am a fool for her. I love that woman with all my heart despite everything that has transpired between us. I know I made just as many serious mistakes as she did and so she is not al at fault. I merely keep hoping to win back her love. As a husband and not a brother.

Be good people. Stay strong. Always face the world with a smile. Never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good laugh/day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter.

4 thoughts on “Journal – May 25, 2018”

  1. Brother?
    Not good.
    She seemed to have planned something all along with getting the second house complete.
    You are a grown man with his eyes wide open.
    Be careful.

  2. Awe man that sucks! Once a woman views you as a brother then sex is off the plate. You can’t be having sex with your brother. I’m sorry buddy. I know you love her, but it may be better for you in the long run to cut your losses, and go find a woman that wants YOU for you. Sex is an important part of a marriage. Bleh! 🙁

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