This is my first blog and I don’t believe anyone will pay attention to it so I guess it is important to start honestly.
Have you ever felt like you are doing everything you can and still feel drowning?
Yeah, I think I am there. Maybe it is about starting to change the way I live my life, one step at a time mantra.
Maybe it is about the way that I look at my life, maybe I am actually doing fine, I just gotta be patient and wait for the better times to come to me, I never liked to wait, not that I ever was a patient person, like ever.
I actually don’t know what can be done for the time being, but I know the state that I am in, let’s make a reminder on what state I am in today.
I live in a studio apartment, which is kind of small and I basically eat, work and sleep in the same room. It was nice at the beginning, but I guess it gets boring when you do it for 1.5 years now. A window that I could open to the sides instead of up would be better.
I don’t mind being alone. Most of the time I feel alone and other times I want to be alone, especially when I find myself in the middle of crowded places but people seem like background details.
My job is loaded with projects and responsibilities to fill. We keep on trying to meet the deadlines and up until now, it is going quite alright. I have some thoughts about the fulfillment though. Being a data analyst is one of the hot professions in today’s world, however, I think I can do better with some more morale and with some directions given at certain times. I mostly am bored at the moment and meetings are not helping.
Love life is kind of on hold. Have a distance relationship with a woman who is always busy to talk to. It feels like I am single, and I am not sure if I am sad or glad about the current situation.
Living in a country as challenging as Turkey takes some spirit away from your soul. It is pretty tough to keep fighting and keeping yourself up all the time. I am trying to exercise regularly but I can’t stop my habit to eat unhealthy junk food. It is a sad thing but eating your feelings away is a temporary solution. Hey, whatever keep you going is good, right?
So, yeah hi again. I was thinking about writing a blog for some time now and today is the first step towards this new hobby to preserve sanity and take a look at oneself’s thoughts and feelings in writing. After all, I am good at analysis, maybe I can figure some stuff out if I read my thoughts as someone reading somebody else’s blog.
More depressing writings later. For now, ciao ciao.