Floating, not walking exactly

One blog writing at a time. I am trying that for the time being. One piece for each day, reflecting thoughts, thinking about stuff, repeating for the next day.

Fridays are always nice. I always have my small portion of peace when I think “tomorrow is Saturday”. It brings some sense of calm mood. But still, there are lots to do, lots to accomplish, lots to work on, and lots and lots of failure I need to surpass. But let’s try something else in this writing. Let’s try to connect to the feelings.

I don’t feel anything. That is a good start because it is the current state that I am in, and also it is a confession. I don’t feel the pressure of the workload, the pain of being ignored by the girlfriend, tiredness of the busy week. I don’t feel empty, I just feel nothing.

Well, maybe something. There is this girl. I tried to reach out to her by sending a friend request on Instagram like anyone in 2021, she rejected it. As a man in a relationship, missing another woman that is not your girlfriend is, well, wrong. But, that is what I slightly feel today. I miss her.

I wonder if anyone else misses somebody else in 2021. Genuine heart-broken, confusing, beautiful missing feeling. I wonder if anyone else feels like a human being when they miss someone. Sometimes it feels like everybody is getting classified into groups and they just don’t realize or care about it. Was the world always like this, or technology finally destroyed the last piece of humanity? As someone using a keyboard to write on a website powered by the internet and the latest technology, also is a data analyst who works on cutting-edge technology daily, I know. It is quite witty and hypocritical to put myself out there like that but well, who cares really.

In conclusion, I am not walking toward my missions and dreams, I am not walking toward the person I am missing. Instead, I am thinking about how shallow people become, how technology ruined us without us realizing it and how useless my thoughts are in the end. I will keep missing her, I will keep thinking and nothing will ever change. I will chase my dreams one day and they will separate me from her even further, we won’t even be in the same city. Worst of all, she won’t even know that I am gone.

Yup, I am definitely floating. One more beer for the road.

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