It is believed scientifically ‘If any of your senses are malfunctioning other start functioning with much greater functioning and develop more.
Today I wanted to disclose my acting regarding my real mental ailment. It was first time when I came out of my Box. And started struggling socially because of the symptoms I discussed previously.
Despite of my academic performance I was tested socially. I was failing in all institutions. Despite of previously performing I suddenly collapsed. Reason was my uniquely developed acquiring mechanism.
I used to acquire education in a way that was quite different than others. I used to learn my examinations by taking much longer time than others. It was required that I deliver the learning before I get it erased from my memory. It was compulsory I rush to examination center and deliver my learning. My family members used to escort me to examination Center.
I used to rush to exam paper and deliver it. Later on I used to struggle in recalling it. It always had been a single chance for me to deliver and I always did it precisely.
When learning mechanism got exposed and I was struggling socially. Now people started biasing me. I disclosed the learning before the world first time. A perception had already developed that he has gone Mad because of being a book worm being inactive socially.
I acted in such a way that they have to consult psychiatrists to improve my mental condition. But it was a road to investigating my real mental condition causes.
I was thinking that perhaps they will medically improve my memory and resolve my social retardation. I regained my potential and after lapse of 4 years I earned 2 more degrees. I refused to give up. Now in 2019 just the 3rd one and double masters MBA and Master of Education At some point in time I have normal understanding and when I achieved reading skill with sound comprehension Today when I don’t understand verbally that reading ability or skill is still maintained and It is 2011 when I completed MBA and it is 2019 when completing Master of Education all doubts on my acquiring ability are proven wrong I did not had weak perceptiveness and even I had sound understanding of verbal communication
Today I disclose I developed my brain with the help of technology. But I developed remaining normal functioning and no such miracle I experienced not any of my symptoms had improved. These are still all the same.
But I brought in use interactive Computer software and smart phone applications to develop remaining functionality of my brain.
The real issue was can I perform normally academically as well as professionally. I was pursuing suitable way to perform professionally at least. but I have succeeded only as I read written material sound but neither organizations nor mass is convinced to adjust me in work space as I am unable to convince them how comfortably I will be able to do my work and contribute in their economy but all that I am facing is managerial resistance to my issue..I follow all legal procedures but management is just apathetic to my issue..The colleague and management will soon find a way to remove this problematic bone of contention as they did in Past and blamed me why I quit without reasons but reason was the toxic environment that is again created for me now after 2 years my handicapped is being declared as in efficiency but Reality is this state has still not accepted me for them I am a liar Cheater Criminal culprit where I have not received single rupee of bribe so far but I am paying bribe desperately to survive as a deal …
So a time came when I had developed functionality of my brain and back to back I was receiving job proposal and even on merit selections. Even after quitting banking that was also on recommendation selection.
I had enough development to become a knowledge man. Delivering mechanism or method and social environment control were to be established. My third on merit selection even after 4 years quitting financial industry.
My acting regarding showing me mentally ill brought forward real mental ailment causes. Already Discussed symptoms were all real. Now there was no resolve to it but adopting the requirements for rest of my life.
I know if I have not brought in use technology assistance for developing my mind….Today all malfunctioning of my brain is still all the same.
Still I struggle while riding a motor bike. I forget directions while riding. But I ride on small scale bike.
I have escaped accidents on motor bike but never mentioned a single incidence at my home. Well I am emphasizing again and again that I have developed remaining functioning of my brain. The malfunctioning has never been miracle.
It’s not my authority to miracle my brain to normalize malfunctioning. But I can only supplicate and develop functioning of brain where it is performing.
I readjusted my learning mechanism and achieved at least 4 degrees. But never regaining me that brain as I had in early ages. Never my performance was appraised poor. Just charged not being up to the mark or less than target. Or accusations included lack of coordination, communication problem and such allegations were ridiculous. Nobody wrote ‘your performance was poor’
So far I am communicating my knowledge with all those wronged allegations. I won’t mention but I am scolded ‘Please take pity on yourself ‘Yes I can’t because I am not delegated to show any sort of miracles. But I can be strong and discover functionality of my brain and perform with this.
Once I read a story of Mr. Simpson ……….just a post haste and irrecoverable differences are like a shadow with me.
My self-communication is nothing but ‘The interpersonal communication’. One I and other in Mirror.
Well My perceptiveness so much effected that Sensory impressions do not imprint firmly Even if I ride its on familiar places and even if i walk alone i feel myself some creature rather than human because the way currently my brain has developed and at last the places i reverie I am not stoned neither arrested or killed I rely on others sensory perceptions when you will see them driving for me ..
That is how my places people and name retrieval and remembrance is effected but digital world has brought my normality back on the other hand my out of digital world reality and recognition is before world..
Obviously My siblings have never acknowledged the fact to the extent damage has been done on my brain and the antibiotics that are weakening my immune system but Its the rehabilitation not regrowth of damaged brain nerve fibers but i am paying to live this life obviously I can make laugh world The British in Ashes but definitively I will leave this world in Tears well they can see things that are going wrong but because of my chained mind they are helpless to watch but they can’t do anything When I am observed totally mum it is because I hear voices but listen it not the reason is these are not retrieved for not getting immediate imprint in working memory and I find the desk empty you will find me silent through out conversation and hence silence will not make my presence felt … The above technological assistance doesn’t ensure my brain has normalized biologically but My brain has preserved its sanity so far I have gone to greater extent mentally challenged because earlier I not only used to listen i also used to make sound sense I learnt to understand after reading and today I only make sense after reading and express after writing or speaking the read materials I even struggle in making sense after listening and also with short lived working memory and short lived sensory memory I have developed blind aesthetic senses with eyes that can only see but can’t watch to imprint sensory information that is wait and watch I can see but I can’t watch …
I am also pretty well aware that I may find an euthanasia or not following factors played a part in my Autistic mind
Two blows on my brain
Epilepsy Drugs including Epival and Tegritol
Psychiatric Drugs for more than 10 years
Hence afterwards I also had minor blows to my brain plotted by those that tried hard to get rid of me
Well any of above account of history is wrong rewind it on satellites if right everything is recorded by God ….well people try to hit me in accident or not they may keep murdering victims and this particular sect of people will keep on murdering and murders are not pardoned by God …reason is everybody secure their interests but we are deprived from even satisfying our interests.. This is region greatly effected by the global warming and it has heated the climate
Dad is 64 and diabetic he is patient of blood pressure..Mom has undergone brain surgery My survival is uncertain and every day I escape euthanasia accidents My brothers and sisters are starting new life but my brain is degenerating day by day …..I know I am misfit for any job further but who will bear living dead corpse like me ..Point is I am misfit to start a new life ..if this society can’t adjust the way I am I can’t get out of my Autism.
I am forcefully plotted to quite my third job as well because socially following limitations have been exploited
I can’t ride to duty station because of blurred perceptibility
I can’t remember names of parents and identify their faces
I can’t control students and even can’t differentiate which student is making what mischief
I start struggling making sense on unfamiliar words
It is not far away the way I have been proven iHellegible for any kind of job and when I will be forced to quite the Job My source of income will be cut down I will lose access to internet people will increase their discrimination and I will lose access to internet all of my cyber activities will end I am rapidly growing old my hairs are totally white and I am still bachelor
It is also to be noted I can operate Mobile smartphones Laptops television air conditioners oven iron and digital appliances and keep on helping who need that but Being dependent on others pockets is a great crime here women who earn and support her mentally handicap and sexually defected husband whose sperms quantity is greatly effected by resperidal and who is terrified from getting married because of such inhumane callousness and to save himself from clutches of extremists…who is facing avenges of intolerant forces who will adopt a mad like me that is only counting his days whose dad got saved from him and brought irreversible drugs damage to him whose mom says a women want shelter from his husband but he behaves like child situation has been to that extent complicated its resolve will be miracle of God.