Dear Doc,

You asked me the other day to reveal my heart…to pour out my soul in one open letter, but for me to do so I would have to do more than just that. I will have to give reason behind the madness, my emotions that I have not yet became comfortable to express to you. I  am sure you are wondering where all of this is coming from, and how does all of this tie into this letter…but I ensure you; in the end it will all make sense. You told me that everything comes back in full circle, well once again here I stand overlooking yet another ledge. Searching for answers that I have yet created questions for. Peace…that’s what the voice inside my head is whispering to me as the wind dance around me. Just let go…those were the last words you told to me before we parted ways. But I just can’t, despite all of the hell that I have gone though I just cannot let go. You see he came to me unexpectedly and would not let me go. He is like a drug that I cannot be cured of, a lifeline…the only line that continues to keep me here.

I fell in love at first sight, our eyes met…our words danced and just like that my heart and soul melted into a puddle of emotions and feelings that I may never fully be able to describe. I can still feel his heart beats in my ears. Taste his sent on my lips…and feel his touch on my body. He gave me life…so as you can see Doc there is far more to this story than what meets the eyes. Why did I end up in your office that night, drenched, dazed and confused?  Why am I constantly running from the very person I just cannot find any peace with? Why when you look into my eyes you give off a sense of fear and uncertainty? Why….why…why? So many questions…so much time. I wish I could end this letter with something positive, or maybe something helpful. But just like with anything else I cannot just start in the middle of a story I must start from the beginning. Before I met you…before I met him…before I became me.

Until next time…



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