Ever thought that you don’t belong somewhere? That, the place where you are, wasn’t meant to be for you?

I have. This feeling of not fitting in is inexplainable. When the supposed ‘world’, the only place where you can possibly be, doesn’t seem right; When you find discomfort with the people you are suppose to be the most comfortable with; When your nearest and dearest ones are the ones pointing fingers at you, where will you go?

It sounds very cliche to talk about family drama or relationship issues. The question is; is it? No.

You are always taught ‘not to think too high of someone’ or ‘never to expect’. But where to apply this? On the very own people who taught this to you?

World could be a delusional and controversial place. And as you grow up you realize that the ones who are suppose to support you are the ones bringing you down, perhaps unintenionally- And when I say this I do not mean your closest or best friends. No, The people who come into your life by choice can leave with or without your consent. As far as the people who are granted to you without even second questioning (or first for that matter) remain forever. They are the ones from whom you learn how to speak, how to think, how to live. So then, how do you run away from them? Moreover, can there ever be an escape from yourself?

All of it is confusing. How about one day you wake up and suddenly realize that you no more want to be the person that you are? I know the response “What’s the problem change yourself for the better”/ “be the change you want to see in the world”

Okay. justified. But everything comes with certain limits. You do change yourself, you can inculcate better things in your character but your way of thinking can only lead you so much further. After that, its all dark, a blank dark blob; your soul. And there is no running away from that. Never.




4 thoughts on “CONTEMPLATION”

  1. Not to be disrespectful to your post. But I feel that way about this place. Very confusing and irritating to say the least!
    As to this post, yes! I can relate to what you have said.

  2. I can identify with your post on so many levels . . . and it’s a horrible feeling. I’ve felt that way for too many years.

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