I have shared my home with a cat with a firm paw for 15 years now. She tells me when it is time to go to bed and when time to get up…and she certainly lets me know when it is time to feed, water, or change her litter box. When I consulted with her tonight, she told me that it was time for me to share some jokes about the most wonderful animal that exists in the universe….obviously she meant CATS.
So here goes.
I understand that there is some sort of “rule” about blogs to the effect that you don’t blog about your pets….well guess what….LOL (both from recently received emails)
Law of Furniture Replacement A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
Law of Fluid Displacement A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.
Law of Cat Washing A cat will wash itself at any time which is appropriate, which includes especially the moment after something has been jumped and escaped.
Law of Cat Mass The mass of a cat is inversely proportional to its desire to be picked up. (now this one is no joke, just simple truth..my cats weights about 10 lbs at most. Yet if i try to pick her up, it is like trying to pick up..not a brick, but a entire brick wall)
Law of Concentration of Mass A cat’s mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.
Law of Cat Gravitation A cat’s gravitational pull (i.e. weight) will vary upward in direct proportion to the desire of the human to move the cat.
Law of Selective Listening Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can’t hear a simple command three feet away.
Law of Equidistant Separation All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.
Law of Cat Invisibility Cats think that if they can’t see you, then you can’t see them.
Law of Space-time Continuum Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
Law of Cat Probability (Uncertainty Principle) It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she might be.
Law of Cat Obedience As yet undiscovered.