The Uwais ( Joseph)
Living with Autism Anorexia Recovered Psychedelic /Dyslexia /Dyscalcula
It was 1994 perhaps when I experienced convulsions and it attacked two times. I was immediately escorted to a near by Developed City and Doctors… Read More »Rheum Deep Depression and Psychedelic Mind ( My Story)
The time kept on passing. I wanted to hold the time but I could not. Until the time came when I became mock of children. All the predictions proved right for me. I was not a child but it became my destiny to live like this. There was no body to take care of me. Perhaps I became an actor for all but something I was undergoing I can describe better. The death turned its face the other side and it did not came to me. I narrated myself in stories, poems and in articles. But still I was an actor.
After my parents how I will be able to survive it still remained a question for me. I was wronged till the stage of death but still I did not died. I was unable to support myself how I will be able to support a family. I was only enemy to myself and nobody else. I felt insecure from my younger brother and from my society to be stoned, mocked and killed. I have already described in my diary writing how I feel. I was wronged to the end. I experienced mental injury at the age of almost 10 to 14 and after that I physically got weak like Skeleton appearance. It became really hard for me to even live without support.
I felt difficulty in riding a motorbike or bicycle. Still I managed to avoid accidents. I did not know I will die in an accident or I will be encountered I wanted to write my story to world before I depart.
A time will come when I will be remembered in good words. I have already described I can read and write but I lack proper understanding but I can manage my thoughts to make comprehension and I assemble my thoughts and make a sound comprehension that affair or matter is such and such.
I know pretty well by learning to write and read English language I can only make the world to understand me. I have no prejudice for my brothers or for any body. I have no hatred for anybody.
I have no enmity for anybody. I know the life is not ended. But I am living like this from early ages.
If I survived I will write but before dying I wanted to describe my story to the world. I know pretty well people will think this is a negative way of thinking but it is something that I experienced.
After having psychological Schizophrenia drugs my experience is I am understanding less and remembering pathways locations people places and names less My brain has gone weaker and weaker. But still I am living and did not know that what is laying for me next.
I know that world is diverse with different religions. I do not want to be a mystery anymore and I did not wanted to be burden or issue. I know why I did not died so far but I wanted to know to please God we even did not know why Dear God has pardon us or pleased from us.
I only see dreams that this world will become a home of peace and there is no further bloodshed in local warfare or international warfare. Peace is necessary for the survival of our planet as well and love and peace we should develop for each other. I also know I am not free of sins but compassion of my God is not less. I know I am not free of errors but I should know God can pardon me.
My life is not easy but I know He will surely arrange some livelihood for me. At what stage of age I am I have been wronged and what is fault of mine in this. Every sane mind can understand that I am not wrong to seek my justice at this stage. I know that my God will do justice for me.
I know I can’t die without will of God and I can’t live without will of God.It seem Khider Fed me drink of life water that’s why whenever I feel as passed away I become a spirit and very next moment start breathing. I am harmless and I wanted peace and order in this world. I will pray to my God to maintain Peace and love in this world.
How much life is left of mine I wanted to live with harmlessness and I wanted to live with peace and love.
The time was passing sitting on a desktop Personal computer with server CPU and cathode Monitor I spent 6 years sitting on it until my PC was robbed from my home
- Oneday satellite recording may show me robbers but I am not that important personality but when I was scoring low it was troubling my struggle I discontinued my studies when I realized I am going to drown the entire ship As I emailed my sufferings as compassionate grounds and emotional appeal to UK as a way to entire rest of world I know it was going to be deleted but luckily it got attention of world then next task was to prove in graduation but I was scoring low and i did not had references or family background i needed that next task was to opting banking and settle back in native city along with parents And my planning failed because when I realized scoring low I can’t compete on merit and be a legal special person that they can’t fire but I miserably dropped my results when I was not even moving above D grades for sure I was not going to graduate Dad carried me last time to that home that I was planning to resettle in and sold that home when I did not gave up and snatched graduation It was Human Resource Management the MBA that I completed. Soon Dad approached references when I was hired on employee quota I even showed up I have potential to work on managerial post…but I was struggling because of Psychedelic Autism and There were no laws in Banking Industry or Yet in Academic department to just take work from us where I can perform Hence despite of performance I only got notice ‘and you don’t work’ If you wanted to stay in banking you have to work ‘ That means I have to perform out of Autism and there were no such laws That had protected me I was quite competent but lack of international laws brought me back on roads but to tell the truth I had been repudiated by all those that people believed had owned me ever when I came on Merit third time these repudiates had psychedelia my mind as they had already defamed me as narcotics addict These were these people that treated cardiac arrest with Epilepsy drugs and destroyed my nervous system When I clearly said I was failing to breath..
- Even Education Department had no laws for protection of Autistic Employees from discrimination and I was struggling here because people discriminated me department said its my fault I am being discrimination but American ADA act has totally different laws ….but one thing is for sure it is not untold story any more for oppression inhumanity and repudiation that surely have rattled human hearts
- To tell the truth A savior carrying ship of entire humanity can’t take shape of a A destroyer when savior appears as convex image on moon those people that belied will surely perceive him in moon walking As satan can’t appear as God Himself..
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