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I fucked up big time. My wife was giving me a chance. A real chance. I didn’t realize it and made a post on Facebook that I should have made here. It was all about how uncomfortable I feel in our home in NC because I am only allowed down here once a year. It compared that with how comfortable her sister is. She is down here 7 or 8 times a year.

My wife read that post and blew up. She said no more chances for me. She said she wants nothing to do with me. She is not going on the Alaskan cruise with me. She wants a divorce. We will never be more than friends.

I have been a basket case ever since.

She has since been nice to me. I think out of that friendship rather than love.

She is back to talking to Jim, her boyfriend whom she had given up. I have not yet told her that I know. I will face her with it tonight after everyone else goes to bed.

I have fucked up big time. I have lost her again. This time possibly for good.


2 Replies to “April 26 2019 journal”

  1. We are beyond talking. She has a boyfriend. She tells him she loves him, She tells me it is over with him but I hear her say “I love you”. I cannot survive this. Seriously.

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