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I was shaped with time.« Back to Questions List

An innocent kind hearted child, who loved people, spread joy and happiness. A teenager who experienced bullying, isolation, betrayal and depression. A twenty year old with a somewhat balanced and high leveled mind who hates crowded places, loud noices, finds peace in solitude and wears a mask of different personas outside the confort of home and who has a passion for music this is the present me.

I tell people I am not kind, their reply is always an expected one,"silence", "don't say that, you're really kind, I know you". Although, some may say that telling this to people is my way of confirming an already know fact or a way to boost my ego. The truth is simple actually, it's neither I am just telling them and my self in a way that I am not a kind person. Why? In order to let go of some of the kindness that resides within me every time I say that.

I was shaped into the person I am today through encounters and experiences. I understood with time that I have weakness, a bad side and a sharp tongue. I don't regret becoming who I am today, I accept the fact that I may be unreasonable and crazy sometimes, I may lose control of my emotions and my replies come sometimes uncalculated. Why am I writing this? I don't know I kind of felt like it. Is anyone going to read it or comment on it? Maybe,why not?

I just had a fight with my family. I don't hate them nor will I ever do, they are all that I've got. I don't have friends, I have classmates and acquaintances, with whom I pretend to be close with, chat and hang out. They keep on encreasing and changing with time like Lego pieces. I don't mind that though. Is this because I am unable to form deep connections with people? Or mabye because I became uninterested in others? Was it because I was hurt by others, or because I am not qualified enough for deep meaningful relationships? I don't know and I don't think I will ever truly understand the reason behind that.

Sometimes, I imagine myself in a different reality, another future, another world even. Do people hold the key to their future, or are they guided by their environment? Could I have kept my innocence and kindness despite the circumstances? Was I shaped because I was weak? Or was this adaptive behavior a sign of growth?

Posted by Nourish
Asked on July 9, 2021 10:36 am

Keep imagining a kind world. We are all evolving into Love. I promise.💋

Posted by Difficult Soul
Answered On August 16, 2021 11:34 am

I love you dear.💋

Posted by Difficult Soul
Answered On August 16, 2021 11:33 am

Emotional abuse by people naturally make us angry. We do wish to lose our kindness in a world of hateful people. This world needs more kindness. Don’t give up on being kind, just associate yourself with the kind oeople we encounter. Stay kind my friend. I’m dying to experience the kindness stored up in your heart.💋

Posted by Difficult Soul
Answered On August 16, 2021 11:32 am