I had a talk with my once upon a time wife. No. My wife. Dammit all, she’s still my wife even if she loves another. I will address her as such. She deserves that much until she is my ex-wife.
So I had a talk with my wife. The voices went silent at the sound of her voice. As always they fear her and they have reason to. She takes no shit from them. Never has and never will. The talk did me good. It blew away some of the cobwebs in my head. I didn’t like some of the things she had to say but they were the truth from her perspective and I respect that. In the end what does it matter? The talk helped me and I am not so far down now.
Instead I feel the rise of an unreasoning anger. I am not sure where it comes from but I remember times, long ago, when I felt such anger begin then morph into outright rage. She remembers them too. It is frightening. That rage can become uncontrollable. My son used to have similar problems with rage. So did my brother in law may he RIP. I thought my son inherited his rage from him through my wife. Now I wonder. I mean I have it in me too so perhaps he inherited it from me. Another gift from a father to his kids.
Funny, I am much more stable now despite the rising anger. Maybe that is what I need now. My wife says go to the gym and I just may do that. I’d have to shower there and so I need a bag for my clothes which I don’t have. I’d also need shower shoes but as my wife said I can get them right next door at the dollar store.
Dunno. Not sure what to do. I want to go to the gym but it is getting late. Perhaps I will go tomorrow morning. I get up early and can beat the crowds. Sounds like a plan.