I took a sip of my coffee that morning, it was my birthday, and told myself it was going to be ok. It was just one day closer to the end when I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. I was going to walk away. I was going to have my life back even if it took a while and I was going to start enjoying myself again. I couldn’t see that day but I knew it was going to be one day soon.
I would like to say she took my breath away or that she made my heart skip a beat but it wasn’t love I felt. Christ, it wasn’t even lust. We sat in the cafe, the one I picked and frequented for all my dates, and got the last table in the place. It was jam packed with college students looking for a break from their busy lives and tourists who needed a break from walking around for so long. I thought it was the perfect spot because it wasn’t far from my house so I could walk and if I needed to, make an excuse to duck out early.
She was ok looking. I didn’t care if she was drop dead gorgeous or not. The picture she sent me was definitely on one of her better days and I don’t know why I expected her to look the same, they never did. Still, she wasn’t bad looking and I didn’t want to base it solely on looks because, let’s be honest here, I could maybe crack a 3 if it was dark and you were drunk.
We hit it off pretty ok. She had all the classic signs of being interested. She touched my arm in conversation, she looked me in the eye, she laughed at my stupid jokes and occasionally looked away when I said something cute.
I knew it was too late for coffee and that was going to keep me up half the night but I thought, it was worth it. She seemed like good company and I was sure I wanted a second date with her. There was just one thing she had to tell me that I should have just ran after that. I should have left the emails unread, the phone calls unanswered and just walked away. I think my life would have been better that way. It was a red flag.