5 in the Morning

I didn’t mean to and wasn’t supposed to wake up at 3:45 am. I’ve been up since. To give a lil background, I kinda got stood up for Valentine’s Day. He hasn’t texted since. I fell asleep with the lights on and woke up in a weird panic around 3:45. It was weird but I instinctively checked to see if he texted and nope, nothing. I checked a social media and I think he blocked me.

The night before I found out a family member is in the hospital. Watching my mom cry is very difficult. My dad had two strokes two years ago and is very different now. He gets really confused. He randomly woke up and opened the door to my room which broke the sleep I was getting back to. I know it’s not his fault but it added to the already emotional overstimulation I’m experiencing.

It’s hard to go back to sleep now my mind is racing. I hate when I wake up and anxiety hits me with a train 🚆 I hate feeling like I’m getting dumped when I’m just starting to like this guy. I hate feeling helpless while my mom looses her shit and cries. Everything hits at once.

2 thoughts on “5 in the Morning”

Leave a Reply