Madness, Suicidality. I have enough pills. Can’t go on like this. Who gives a flying fuck? Tears, Who cares? Death. It calls. No onw cares. They all had a need. Whatr about my need? I can’t do this anymore. She gioes nuts. Whatr about me? She saud she woud be home Monday. Mary said Friday. I can’t do this. Madness. Alone. I need to lket hjer go. Gone forever. After 40 years it is done. I cannot do this anymore. She leaves me. She does notneed me. Not like I need herr. She does snot want me. She sauid so. I need toi let her go. Back to John. I can do this. Even if it costs me my life>I don’t want to live anymore anyway. I am sure I have lung cancer. Fuck it. You can’t live forever. I don’t want to live anymore anyway. If I could only die. Or take my own life. Madnesss. Yes. Or it it sanity? Depression is so deep that I don’t even know anymore. Die. Let me die.

4 thoughts on “”

    1. Hi Roe. It’s been a long time. How are you? Staying safe in this covid-19 world? I am doing well. Still taking my meds. Been fairly stable for a long time now. I still have my days but they are fewer.

  1. You have a reason to live and push forward so don’t give up. Depression is a deep thing that can have you feeling like your worthless but your priceless and precious to this circle of life. If you need a person to talk to inbox me so we can chat or email me at we all need and want someone to listen and talk to us. Let’s be friends and get to know each other.

    1. AJ – me thinkist you been had. Frist, I thought — Thank God, some crazy shit, vulgarity, I was starting to have a diabetic reaction each time I came here. It’s surely not the old Thoughts.
      You didn’t catch the rhymey pimey pentameter?
      The mini-ditty on suicide?

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