Madness, Suicidality. I have enough pills. Can’t go on like this. Who gives a flying fuck? Tears, Who cares? Death. It calls. No onw cares. They all had a need. Whatr about my need? I can’t do this anymore. She gioes nuts. Whatr about me? She saud she woud be home Monday. Mary said Friday. I can’t do this. Madness. Alone. I need to lket hjer go. Gone forever. After 40 years it is done. I cannot do this anymore. She leaves me. She does notneed me. Not like I need herr. She does snot want me. She sauid so. I need toi let her go. Back to John. I can do this. Even if it costs me my life>I don’t want to live anymore anyway. I am sure I have lung cancer. Fuck it. You can’t live forever. I don’t want to live anymore anyway. If I could only die. Or take my own life. Madnesss. Yes. Or it it sanity? Depression is so deep that I don’t even know anymore. Die. Let me die.

4 thoughts on “”

    1. Hi Roe. It’s been a long time. How are you? Staying safe in this covid-19 world? I am doing well. Still taking my meds. Been fairly stable for a long time now. I still have my days but they are fewer.

  1. You have a reason to live and push forward so don’t give up. Depression is a deep thing that can have you feeling like your worthless but your priceless and precious to this circle of life. If you need a person to talk to inbox me so we can chat or email me at Aaron8430@gmail.com. we all need and want someone to listen and talk to us. Let’s be friends and get to know each other.

    1. AJ – me thinkist you been had. Frist, I thought — Thank God, some crazy shit, vulgarity, I was starting to have a diabetic reaction each time I came here. It’s surely not the old Thoughts.
      You didn’t catch the rhymey pimey pentameter?
      The mini-ditty on suicide?

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