Today is day one of my blog, and I am here to introduce to you a successful Schiod Affective Schizophrenic. Well, some people think schizophrenia and they get scared. Well, no need to be frightened, I am on medication once a month. Because my Schizophrenia is not that bad, it is a cross between bipolar depressive mood swings and schizophrenic voices. Sometimes I do not realize what I am saying either verbally or in email, or texting. My schizophrenia will be like say this in my brain and it will be funny, but it doesn’t come off funny at all. Then before you know it I am being attacked in texting to were I have to block people, but then my email will go off and my voices are angry still from the previous night and I will say horrible things to people without any knowledge.
I am always afraid that my schizophenia is going to hurt people like it hurt my best friend Jenelle. I do not know maybe we were not meant to be friends, or maybe I was not ment to even have a friend.
Sometimes I wish that only one friend would understand or study schizophrenia, so, that they will know that my voices tell me to do things. When I was in the emoitional state from the fight on sunday, I was hearing voices of such things as your not worth any friendship, nobody wants you around, just end it now. Boy oh boy I was in tears. On monday I was introuble with bounderies, for needing to talk to someone about the suiciedal voices, my mom was sleeping and my life coach and Case Facilitaor were busy because it was sunday, their days off. But I am feeling better, I am not going to be friends with Jenelle for a while until she apoligizes for calling me toxic, the bad thing is she did not get to let me tell her abourt my date last Friday, and I really wanted to tell her about my first foot popping kiss.