What is manic depression like?

What IS manic depression a.k.a.bipolar really like. It is the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows coming at you in an endless spiral. It is insanity. It is knowing you own the world and your invincible. It is endless pain bringing endless tears. It is harming yourself to externalize the pain so you can handle it. It is a bottomless hole from which you’ll never escape. It is spending sprees and being hypersexual. It is the absolute best and the worst feelings you’ve ever felt. It is pure hell on one side and heaven on the other. It is a dichotomy, filled with opposites. And the depth of the hell is indescribable while he height of he heaven is unbelievable. It is endless cycles between good and bad. Those cycles come at various rates… from months to hours. Often accompanying BP is psychosis expressed in various ways. From seeing, smelling and/or hearing things is common so is bouts of extreme paranoia. And I do mean extreme. The rapid cycles happen fast enough that it’ll drive you to insanity. It makes you beg for death just so it and the pain will end. Bipolar depression often leads to suicide attempts but it is the mixed states that are most dangerous. See in a mixed state I will be deeply depressed while experiencing symptoms of mania or hypomania including the spontaneity to do it without a single forethought. Simply on the spur of the moment.

In short manic depression is madness.

Leave a Reply