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I changed alot , got questions ask :). just read my blogs. and comment.
im really glad you liked this thanks for the support :3
I think your trying to fill a space, to fill the little crack in your life you have no clue what to do with and I know how you feel. It’s hard feeling alone and dating someone just because the idea of being by yourself is terrifying but your letting the experiences of real love and really living pass you by. I also believe that this person is nowhere worth your time. You might not see it yet but I find you to be a very passionate and kind intelligent person who is a little lost right now. You may not feel like anything special but I assure you that you are. I think that you need to find someone better for you who actually shares the same veiw’s as you and will really charish you. Part of your depression might be coming from that feeling of loneliness because he doesent charish you or treat you how you need to be treated. I hope my advice helps you a little bit.
everyone pretty much explained this but, your not going to enjoy sex at all until your with someone you really love or have special feelings for. Until you find that person sex is going to feel like nothing but a chore or punishment or a hassle which it shouldent. When you find that person which I can already assure you , you will it will feel right and it will make you feel complete because that person will be your other half you will have a special connection that only you to can share on such an intimate level. I think you just need to have faith in yourself and put your self out there take a risk.